Now for my girl's turn........I am not sure I have ever seen a little girl adore her father the way mine does "her dad"......she literally believes he hung the moon and does it every night.......thinks her dad is one of the most amazing humans she has ever known......the way she looks at him is a sight to behold.......he had earned every bit of that adoration in her life until not so long ago.......and I have been supporting that since this happened and will continue to do that for her........and for now that is her belief.......unfortunately the reality is she won't always feel that way.....no matter what narrative is being spun by her dad, some hard truths exist that will never be able to be spun any other way then the reality they live in......the ugly reality that "her dad" left......he left his family, not in the right way, if a right way were to exist......nothing upstanding in any way shape or form, and as it unfolds decisions continue to be made that harm her heart......unfortunately the realization that he won't be able to stay on his throne in her eyes, for the remainder of his days, hasn't come to find him yet......and when it does WOAH, YIKES, OUCH! He has no idea the pain that hasn't visited him yet......... He was the first man she ever loved and now he has shown her something she will never forget, no matter what happens from this day forward......she already gets more about it than she should because she understands the girl code, it was born in her, in her wisdom, her intelligence, her compassion, her love of me.......she gets what has been done to her mother, all through his actions, his decisions, not mine........and as she grows, her understanding will expand and leave a great divide between she and her father that no amount of love or amends will ever fully be able to put back together for her......it breaks my heart for the both of them.....truly......because I witnessed fatherhood greatness in him until I didn't......until I don't see it there anymore......I always pray he finds his way back, some way somehow......always hope that fatherhood will again shine brightly in him...... I have also sent her a loud and clear message too......I have sent her the message that loving yourself is worth more than the love you can find in the eyes of anyone else, I have taught her that her mom is brave even when she is crying, I have taught her that her mom can handle any situation and meets each challenge with courage and grace every single day......I have shown her that her mom is comfortable in her own skin, doesn't need a man.....that her mom runs on the treadmill when she is sad, that her mom cuddles her kids when she needs to smile, that her mom lets her scream and yell at her when her feelings get too big for her little body, and that I don't judge her for that.....don't act like she hurts my feelings, or make her feel guilty.......I just scoop her up when it is over and hold her tight......while she tells me I am the best mom ever and she loves me so much......I have taught her that you "write your feelings" when they get too big, and one day she will read my blog, of that I am certain...... and I hope it touches her heart, helps her understand, helps her find the peace I have........but the most important lesson I have shown her, is there is nowhere in the world I would rather be than with her........nowhere......not ever.......and that the work of life is worth it, to do that if you can.......so his loud and clear message to her, one he won't face right now, will come to find him.........and her in a very much more tangible way as she grows.....it is heartbreaking that I cannot shield her from that.....I can only control the communication I convey to my kids.....one of love, acceptance in all their moments, and being there for them every single moment and continuing to send the messages of love and hope that I am so desperately wanting to convey to them each and every day......
jperuso
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