One of the more uncomfortable parts of this story for me was becoming comfortable with living a life not everybody understands.....and I am totally at peace with it today.....but there are times I wish that some people in my life would get where I am coming from better.....or understand......but it is not for them to understand, it really isn't......somebody understanding us is lovely.....but not necessary to live in our truth.... The only person that has to understand my life is me......plain and simple.....and unfortunately people meet us with their limited understanding, or lack of imagination for our situation......having a hard time putting themselves in our shoes.....imagining how they would feel if they were us.....and having an imagination and compassion for another...... is paramount to true understanding.....suspending judgement.....and just believing that the experience the person is having is true.....true for them.....and that is all that matters......and one of the truths for me that is misunderstood, is the fact that I don't know if I will ever get married again.....and that makes some people in my life uncomfortable......but see the thing is, that notion makes me perfectly comfortable.....and it is my life.....and I am allowed to do what is right for me:)......I have never said never......and am open to a fella changing my mind;-).....but I am recognizing a place in myself that is so loud and clear......that tells me that it is not on my desire list at the moment.....and I never worry what will happen if I don't......or being on my own till little old lady status;-) never.......it doesn't bother me a bit.....and all of that feels like freedom.....but for most folks they are meeting me on that topic, being married.....and maybe even having good marriages.....and cannot imagine why I would not be wanting that.....instead of believing me when I say I don't......and understanding why maybe for me that would make sense .....I don't feel compelled to find a "dad" for my kids at all.....not even a little.....and not even if their dad was not in their life......I spend a lot of energy making up for it all.....and I am a strong and steady role model for my kids.....and my kids have great male role models, and spend time with their dad.......so trying to find one for them is not a thing for me lol:) And anybody that comes into my life would need to be good for them, if they stuck around long enough.....but the idea of living with somebody again isn't on my radar at the moment either.......and the other piece for me is a deep faith in this journey I have been set on, and all the moving parts.....I don't worry......and some people feel like worry is a sign of caring and it isn't.......it is a colossal waste of time and energy......things always have a way of working out.....they just do......the life I am living now is one that I love.....it has magic within it.....it is intentional.....it is alive.....and it is my own....and I have the right to live a life that I want to....that lights me up and makes sense so completely to me, .and so do you! :) We get one beautiful chance to live this life and we should be seizing it with every bit of ourselves! Happy Saturday!
jperuso
Comments