So I had my interview yesterday! It was an amazing experience, and I felt like it went really well........ and even if I don't get the job, I have no regrets......nothing I would have done differently......that feels good:) and as I said yesterday, if it is meant to be mine, it will be........but what struck me most of all, is how present I was in all of it......I did not get up in my head......I didn't overthink.......I didn't spin at a hundred miles an hour........I could recount nearly every word of the interview afterwards, because I was really THERE......totally present in the moment......and I really guess I need to chalk that up to my meditation practice.......learning to be present.....learning to be still.......my therapist calls it meditation in action......carrying over meditation skills to the real world.....and I suppose with practice it gets easier and easier......there is no other moment but the present really.....good bad or indifferent......that is all we have......and remaining in it is not easy.....we spend so much time up in our heads......ramming around the past, or fearing the future.....and not staying present......I am so working on it......the present is where our lives are happening! I mean it is where we should reside much of the time........but.........it isn't easy......so yesterday's interview made me realize that I am getting better at it......I wasn't nervous......I was just me.......in a moment......and I enjoyed it so much.......it allowed me to experience it fully.......life is full of experiences right??......and the goal is to be present in all of them and enjoy them as much as we can.......and we cannot do that if our minds are elsewhere........I always see that meme about having your brain like a computer with all the tabs open......and I could always relate......but maybe not so much now.....there is a stillness and peace that has settled into me......that I feel is present in my day to day.......I think people can feel it from me too......a settling........not moving so quickly......not so many tabs......and it feels better......so much better........I think my meditation practice began in October maybe or November.....and I am pretty consistent.....just 15 min a day........I am still doing guided ones......I want to branch out and just do my own......but still feel I need the guided part to keep me where I want to be......but my goal is to try without soon......I am hoping to outside in the summer.....but there most definitely is something transformative when we get still.......and touch our souls......hear our inner voice......push away the noise......all the stuff that covers it up.....and just get in tune with our own essence......so my goal is to continue to apply my meditation skills to living my life.......to remain present in every moment.......savoring it.......I remember being really mindful of that when Madeline was a baby......knowing she was my last.....and knowing that I needed to soak it all in.....and I feel like I did......but then the world got noisy again.....so I suppose the goal each day is to tune out the noise and let our hearts and souls rule! Enjoying the present of being present;-)
jperuso
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