For maybe as long as I can remember words and writing has appealed to me in an important way.....writing has long been the vehicle I have used to get my thoughts and feelings across. I have been able to for a long time, formulate my thoughts and feelings in a somewhat organized way to make my point and intentions clear......it has been an extremely important outlet for me and I have always been grateful for it.....I spent much of yesterday writing. It was a great day for it......Gloomy and rainy, and I felt inspired to move forward on my book. I wrote a couple of chapters fairly easily. Having the direction come to me in a clear way and the words pour out. Then I took to the enormous process of transferring my year's worth of blogs into a Google Doc. The intention started as a desire to have them all in one spot, and in another spot, should Wix decide to close shop LOL:) But then as I began to do it, the idea that the full year's worth of entries may just be strong enough to stand alone as a book itself too? I feel like I hadn't thought of it that way until I came full circle to pass the anniversary of his leaving.......understanding that that day....and perhaps that entry sort of rounded out the year in a way that would lend itself nicely to a diary of sorts, a diary written in real time, as I lived through the last year. That maybe it would be helpful for people living in the space that I just walked through, to read through it and use it as a tool to see some light in those dark and early days of this experience? I know for me in the early days I read some really valuable things, that changed the course of my experience and I took some of the advice to heart in a real way, that changed everything for me. So I know it is possible. It is exciting to think of this becoming a book. It has been such a special thing for me from day one. Born from such a pure and intentional place in me. From the moment that I typed my first blog it has felt like this blog has taken on a life of its own. The ideas of what to write about come to me clearly each day. Sort of nudging at me and when I sit down, and then it pours out of my heart and mind like a river. Unable to stop it, just flowing in the ways that it is meant to. Sometimes I am not even sure fully where I am headed when I start an entry and by the end it finds its way to be wrapped up and closed in a way that I hope makes sense to the reader. It is most definitely inspiration driven......coming from some place that I cannot explain. Feeling very much like what I am meant to do in this season of my life. It has come to me each day of this past year. Allowing me such an outlet for all that I carry inside. I feel it has also touched the people it has been meant to touch. I have received countless messages and expressions of that over the last year. Understanding that it resonates with people and my journey becomes theirs. Or my journey helps them heal old wounds, or maybe think of their own life circumstance alongside mine. That is powerful stuff indeed. Stuff I do not take for granted, not for one second. Or take the responsibility those things carry lightly. Yesterday as it was flowing from my fingertips, and I was on a roll with my book, I was sort of marveling some at the process. Wondering where each keystroke comes from as it comes. Feeling like a vehicle to some extent for things bigger than me. Maybe the way a songwriter feels, a poet, an artist.......like the ability is not so much from me but from a higher place. A place that wants to be heard. Kind of cool to think of. Whatever the explanation, I am so grateful. It offers me such an important space to heal and move forward in my life, and now as I am starting to put the pieces together, I believe it will help many others too:)
jperuso
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