Worthiness......

Where do you suppose self worth comes from? Does our sense of it come to us as children, adolescents, or teenagers? Or does it take us longer to develop it.....I feel like I am still on that journey at 47 some days;-) ......and I think there are very few people that haven't struggled with feeling worthy, and demanding situations in their lives that are a reflection of their self worth.....think most of us have been there at one point or another, whether in a romantic relationship or otherwise.....and it may in fact be the cornerstone of it all.....and as I type this it comes to me that maybe our human comes in to affect it all or undermine it.....being understanding of another's situation at the expense of us......maybe......and finding that balance is key .....when to be understanding and when to draw a boundary around what is tolerated......the truth is some of the stuff I tolerated at the end of my marriage....under the weight of his affair....make me cringe.....like really cringe......and I also realize now that my tolerating of that might not have been directly linked to my self worth then....not fully.....it was likely motivated more by my deep need to save my marriage.....at all costs......and my belief in marriage in general......that was more the driving force.....beyond what I was tolerating then.......but still........I cannot discount my clear lack of feelings of self worth then......not believing in my deserving more.....not demanding that my needs get met.......and so now in my new life I have worked hard to feel worthy......mostly by way of loving myself and treating myself well each day.....being good to my body.....my mind.....my soul..........my blood pressure has always been pretty good, but I had a check up yesterday and it was 118/68, and I had even had some stuff going on in my life that I was stewing on beforehand, and my blood pressure still remained solid.....and that feels good....to feel worth the time and energy it takes to take care of myself.......once upon a time I smoked cigarettes.....I know right????;-) Feels shocking to me now lol:) I quit 20 years ago.....in my late 20s.....but I remember my therapist saying to me he was surprised that I had ever smoked because it such a self destructive thing to do, and I am not a self destructive person......hmmmmm......but have I been, maybe??.....putting myself in situations that were not loving, or did not serve the part of me that should be looking out for me, and loving myself??? Most definitely............so I am close now in this chapter......closer than I have ever been in all my life to feeling worthy of so much more than I ever dreamed of......and knowing I have always been.....even if I didn't feel it, or know it way back when......I have forever been worth what I am in this moment and in all my tomorrows......always......I believe that our perception.....and our intention.....and our daily actions create our reality......and if you want a better reality you need to harness the power found in those things......being intentional about living the life you want to live....and saying no to anything that isn't in line with it.....and I am learning that:) I also believe the people we surround ourselves with need to treat us the way we deserve to be treated.....and reflect our worth back to us......If you are out there.....struggling to feel worthy.....know that YOU ARE, please do:) And if the people around you aren't making you feel that way, take the time to make yourself feel that way.......treat yourself like somebody you love each day, and watch your life change:) happy Tuesday!