Worthiness..........

This is so interesting.......I woke up with another word hitting me in the face as soon as my eyes opened, just like yesterday??! Worthiness- the quality of being good enough; suitability. I suppose similar to be willing.......feeling worthy is key as well........the things we feel worthy of doing in this life, or having, or attracting, are what gets to stay with us.......I was talking with a friend a little about this last night......it popped up a few times actually in my interactions with people yesterday now that I think of it.......and when a person doesn't believe they are worthy......lots of negative things happen in their lives......they settle for things......they attract things that aren't good for them, repeat toxic patterns.......all sorts of things......so how do you find a way to feel worthy in this life? Where does it come from? Is it ingrained in us as kids?......do our parents impart a feeling of worthiness upon us? Do we learn to be worthy of the things we want as we travel? Do we go in and out of being and feeling worthy based on what comes to find us? Or when we finally learn it, and feel it, is it ours for life? All good questions and I am not sure of all the answers.......for me I suppose I have felt worthy for a long time to have a life I enjoy, some of the things I desire......those types of things......but I am not sure my worthiness in a relationship sense has ever been a part of me........I was sort of of the mindset you get what you get, you make it work and worthiness never entered in.....which was perhaps why I allowed the things to infiltrate my marriage that I did......the systematic undoing of our union, piece by piece......until it shattered.......and it most definitely must have centered around worthiness.......or more specifically the lack thereof......I would not have allowed much of what I did if I indeed felt I was worthy of something different.......so I suppose that is another gift that came out of the rubble of my life.......my understanding.....my unshakeable understanding........that I AM WORTHY.......I am worthy of a love that is deep and wide.........profound and healthy.......one that fills me up and continues to fill me up, not deplete me........one that makes me feel like I won some sorta lottery:) That kind of love.......and now that I understand I am worthy.......I won't settle for anything that diminishes my worthiness........I won't settle for anything that makes me feel less than......or not good enough.......or chips away at my self worth........and if that happens, it is my signal to walk away.......so now I am curious how I gave the gift of worthiness to myself in this past year? What was it that helped me know that I am worthy now? Maybe it has been in the space I created to take care of myself and get to know myself better? Maybe it was in my journey and the forging ahead in something I felt was important in this life? Maybe it is in the decisions I have made so far for me? Or maybe it is just my reminding myself that I didn't deserve what happened to me........that it was completely unfair............and the worthiness I have found as I stand in the awareness that I never will allow that again in my life.......whatever it was that caused it, my worthiness most definitely has stepped forward.......and it is the piece I need to fiercely hold onto as I travel......it will keep me in the right situations, with people that have the right intentions.....and when I feel it is slipping.......it is time to fly......no matter what......every time.......