I was going through some paperwork recently, memories.....and had some of this crop up and also currently in my life......I am a person that says what I mean.....the truth of it all....open and honest perhaps to a fault....and most of the time what I say I will do I do......nobody has to question where they stand with me or what I am saying.......and so I have always assumed the same of others.....or expected the same.....and that just isn't true.....part of what kept me duped for so long at the end of my marriage.....the space between my finding out about the affair.....our doing therapy for 2 years.....and his leaving..... was his words......they were spot on then.....making me believe in it all.....insightful and deep, regret filled......and maybe he even meant some of them.....maybe.....but lots of people just say what they think somebody wants to hear.....and that is kinda horrifying to me if the truth be told.....I think my intuition has grown.....and I am much better at spotting false stuff..... but still......it is one thing about people that is so bothersome to me.....and is so hard to accept.....and makes connecting with folks a dangerous game......I love language....I have written about that before.....I love all things expressive...... using language......writing.....conversation....banter....all of it.....and I use my language abilities for truth.....you can take what I say to the bank.......never have to wonder if I am being deceptive......and I seek the same in this chapter.....people I can trust to be as honest as I am.....having their actions and words align....and if I look back that was a red flag I ignored in my marriage foolishly.....listening to his words but not paying as much attention to his actions.....or lack thereof........and feeling confused at the fact that they did not align....but hanging my hat on what he said.......and that will forever be a barometer for me for people now.......watching what they DO and seeing if it matches what they SAY and if not then.......there is my cue.......but there was another piece that occurred to me as I rummaged through stuff.....much of which I threw away......is the extent to which people take advantage of others....not being grateful for them....appreciating them.....just taking and taking....and happy to do so.....and is that human nature? Collectively?.....being unable to appreciate a great person in their lives? Or is it just the nature of some.....because unfortunately for some people that awareness doesn't arrive till it is too late.....and it is so tragic to me....all of it could have been avoided.....so I guess I say all of this to say it cropped up.....as I rummaged through the past and let it all go......but more importantly to have anybody out there reading....calling you to check your people for words and actions aligning:) Are they who they say they are?? Like REALLY? ....and it is a declaration for myself, and a reminder to seek people that use language like I do....for love and truth.....and honesty....and to express who they are honestly.....and to seek the grateful folks......the ones that treasure the people that love them in their lives, instead of taking them for granted....waking up each day with a spirit of appreciation for the folks that have their back....ride or die......And it is a reminder to keep my appreciation for it all at an all time high! That I am now living in a chapter where I get to choose the company I keep and seek people that align with what I want and what I give......Tonight I get to have dinner tonight at my place with a dear friend, and I am so blessed! Blessed with the lessons that have found me...... to keep me wise and clear on what I seek in this life, and to remind me of what I will never abide again.....:) Happy Friday!
Day 3 Pilates challenge completed yesterday! It was super challenging.....it was mostly legs and glutes! I would recommend because the time goes by quickly and while it requires a decent amount from you it does so in manageable spurts and before you know it is done and it was a great workout!
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