Who are you?

I think it is important to sort of revisit this topic some......who are you? Who are you in your life, in your story? Do you know who that is? In the absence of my marriage I realize I didn't fully......I have always had a strong sense of self to some degree.....knowing what I feel, articulating that......knowing some of who I wanted to be in this life.......but much of it, in the once upon life was subject to how I was viewed by others and by him......and sometimes we step forward and show up as the reflections we see in those around us......and that is tragic......and I only know that now.......I feel super healthy, strong, young, and vibrant in my new life, and I think to myself if somebody had gone back in time and tried to tell me all of that I would have had a hard time believing that that was who I am.......what resonates deeply now......and I remember near the end of my marriage sort of catching the vibe of what he thought of me.......and I began to think some of that too, and it felt heavy and unlike me, but the more I tried to fight it the more I became a part of his reflection.........despite not wanting to.......because I hadn't formed a strong enough understanding, before we were married of WHO I AM.........so I couldn't hold onto her when she was threatened to be swept away.......but now I know......and I suppose the key is to be with somebody that GETS YOU......SEES YOU.......in the ways you want to be GOT AND SEEN.......I saw a meme the other day about all the different versions of you that exist in other's eyes.......that your sense of self is not the same as those around you......and that all these versions of you exist depending upon who you talk to! Crazy to think of right......?? :-) Because once you get a good sense of self, you want everybody around you to get that......to get you......the way that you get you.......but the fact remains that that is not possible.....not in a real and total sense.......and it is OK.......because YOU have to GET YOU........but I do think you can find a significant other that gets you......and sees you in some of the ways that you see yourself......it makes me sad to think of the Jenn of once upon a time some......she was trying so damn hard......but was lost to some degree in the trying......overwhelmed, and the harder she tried the less it worked and the less it felt like her......because she wasn't being authentic, and wasn't honoring herself, she was trying to honor everybody around her to the detriment of herself.....and in turn was losing bits of herself at every turn........self destructing......I truly shudder to think of what my life would have been like under the weight of all of that stuff for much longer......the toll it was taking on my soul was high.......so I guess the purpose of this entry is to get you to think about who you are......does it feel good to be you? Do the people that live with you or love you mirror the you that you feel you are......or the you you want to be.......?? My goal is to hang onto this Jenn for the rest of my days......remember who she is always.......honor the battle she fought to become her.......and trust that one day I will meet a man that does all that and more too:)