What if I had been a "stay at home mom?"

So there have been a few things that hit me repeatedly through this.....one being that I am grateful I had my own identity outside of my marriage, and that my whole world did not revolve around him......good thing right???;-) I am also grateful I had strength and resources to fall back on all my own, ones on reserve always to lean back on......... as our marriage has come crashing down.....however what hits me repeatedly is the horror that comes with thinking what if I had been a stay at home mom????? What if I had sacrificed all these years being home, relying on him to give me money, and not getting paid for all my hard work.....what would I do now??? What if I didn't make a good living and wasn't able to give my kids a beautiful life outside of what I get from him????......What if I had to solely rely on him to give me money to survive through this brutal time??? It is a HORRIFYING thought y'all......like horrifying......like keep you up at night horror.......and that fact would have added an insult to this injury like none other......I am so blessed that I can afford to provide a nice life for my kids, keep them in their house, do the things I need to to take good care of them......that is a BEAUTIFUL feeling.....it makes me FEEL ENORMOUSLY GRATEFUL...........it makes me feel like everything will be OK......like I don't have to RELY on anybody to take care of my kids.....but me..........I can afford to keep us in our home and do the things I need to to make that happen.........He is giving me the money that he needs to for his kids which I am also enormously grateful for too......When you are left to be the sole breadwinner in a moment....it is comforting to know you can own that role and step up and do just that........it is wildly comforting in all the uncomfortable uncertainty.....it makes me feel so much better, like I can breathe....but all I keep thinking of are those BRAVE women that devoted their lives to WORKING inside their homes and get left holding the bag......without the income they so desperately deserve to help them do just that......those women are heroes....... those women deserve to win the lottery! What other humans can do to other humans that they professed to love is truly hard to comprehend......good things mothers are designed to figure it all out, make it all happen in a hundred different ways, no matter what the circumstance.....I salute you single mamas that were "stay at home mamas" when you got left holding the bag.......sending you hugs......and mad respect........