I am learning that fixating on what we think should happen versus embracing what is happening is truly where we lose our peace, our contentment, and our joy.....when we hang on in that space it diminishes the present......so last weekend when I was pretty sure Gabe had COVID and then later confirming my suspicion.....I had a choice......center or conjecture remember.....and if I had chosen conjecture......I would have ruined the last week of our lives.....running around in what ifs.....diminishing the light we have experienced the last week.......and guess what it is OK......he has done fine.....getting better each day and truly after the initial symptoms presented themselves, I would have had a hard time believing he has it, if it weren't for his positive tests......and I also chose to put no energy in fretting over Mads and I getting sick......laid that down and just have accepted whatever happens now......and this theme has been a recurrent one in my life.....sometimes I am better at it.....sometimes worse.....but this lesson of this week.....illuminated by the beauty of the holiday season will be my reminder when I slip from here on out.....nothing is worth our worry or our fret......truly.....especially things that are out of our control......it is a complete waste of our time and precious energy.........it just is.......and when I think of the new life I have created and where I want to be headed in the new year it is not into stuff that doesn't matter.....I have bucket lists to check off and life to LIVE no matter what.......in the face of whatever comes......focusing on what we have and being grateful for it makes what we have enough.....even if there are places we still want to go and things we feel we need in life......I have truly had a peaceful week and a lovely holiday while COVID is in my home......if you would have told me two years ago that would be possible I would not have believed it......growth right:) I am trying to challenge myself and my patterns and putting the ones that don't serve me down.......not bringing them with me any further in this life......I am going to keep moving forward collecting what I want in my life in my heart and mind and leaving behind what I don't......immense power lies in that.......we can transcend any circumstance that finds us with our mindset and getting our head straight......no matter what.....even if bad stuff happens......especially if bad stuff happens......this next year of my life will be magical.....I can feel it.......I will be building a business......continuing to grow in my life......make some of my dreams a reality.....maybe find love.......and definitely find more of what sets my soul on fire........and every single time I remember that I would not be able to live this life.......not be awake enough to see it, to live it.....still be a little sleepy if Nick had not done what he did......I am even grateful to him.......a huge bomb went off and blew me clear into a life that I am never giving back.....into a joy, peace, and fulfillment I have never experienced.....into an awakening of my soul and spirit......into a place where I can truly be authentic for the first time in all my life......into all of it.....and again my intuition guided me to understand that my mindset was powerful in that situation.......if I had stayed in 'this is the worst thing that has ever happened such a tragedy space".......I never would have found this life......so these blessings are always there, hidden by our adversity.....waiting to be discovered......I will forever spend my life searching for the gold:)
jperuso
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