This is a notion I have thought of so many times.....and has popped up recently.....and it is such a confusing and curious one to me.....I am a very understanding and patient human....I just am.....I cannot take credit for it, I think I was just born that way....came into this life hardwired with those things...... I was born with the ability to see things from all angles and seek to understand what somebody does, before I get angry or bent about it.....and it is a quality that has served me well....and that others have benefited from....but there is one loophole in it, that is kind of problematic and has always been....sometimes there are people that take advantage of my nature in that way.....mistaking my kindness and understanding for weakness....and it has happened all of my life....and when it comes up it makes me second guess that part of me....and when I question that part of myself I always come to the same conclusion.....I am not willing to falsely change myself and become harder or more of whatever I would need to become, to have that not be the case.....jaded maybe....skeptical....closed off.........I don't know.....but I won't do it.....I will remain me.....and the right people will meet me and appreciate that in me, and not take advantage of my forgiving and easier nature......I believe that....and I am learning to throw up boundaries to those that do not respect and honor those parts of me....I am learning.......it came up again recently for me again.....and I was reminded of it.....because here is the thing....the people that are more difficult or less understanding....or more black and white....or however it can be described, have people take notice and tiptoe some around them and cater to them in a way that is to placate them or avoid dealing with them.....we all know those people in our lives........and I won't have that in my life.....I won't have anybody feeling the need to tiptoe around me, or hide from me, because they are afraid to talk to me or afraid I won't understand.....but I am questioning some how to get the respect I need without compromising who I am and my nature......and also do not misunderstand....I am far from perfect for one lol;) and I am tough and have limits too.....and I have "enough is enough" in me too....and when I reach that my understanding side vanishes ;-) but in my day to day.....I truly am pretty easy going, when it comes to people and their human condition....trying to leave my ego out of so much of what comes my way.......and seek to believe what people say and trust they are doing their best at any given moment......because being human is so tough right?? It isn't easy......I have expressed this before....wondering how to walk the line between the two parts of me....the part seeking respect and to be treated the way I wish to be in all my relationships.....and maintain the part of me that gives grace and forgiveness and understanding without being taken advantage of.....and it is a delicate dance.......my new life has equipped me with a better understanding of it all....being conscious of it.....and a way to lay boundaries down.....a voice to speak up if need be.....all of it....and maybe it is human nature to take advantage of people some?? Is it? To treat them as we are able to even if we shouldn't? I am not sure......lots of gray on this issue.....I am also not a resentment builder too, luckily;-) so when it happens I don't hold onto it for too long....realizing it has more to do with the other person than it does with me......and again seek to understand it:) However.....I would prefer to try and help the people in my life feel safe and protected in my energy if I can.....being open to hear them and see them and their truth and give room for the human condition......a place where they can be REAL.......it feels better....to me....and hopefully to them.....I will continue to work on boundaries and having them when I need them......I will......but I won't change who I am.....the heart of me, no matter what......I just won't......I will just seek to have more people in my life that appreciate who I am and don't take it for granted:) Amen!
jperuso
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