In my once upon a time life today would have been my 17th wedding anniversary..... and last year I surrendered it back to the calendar.....because it is no longer my day, and the truth is as it stood I am glad I am not celebrating some sad anniversary today in a marriage that had become so troubled and heavy....sorta going through the motions, giving cards and maybe a gift, but lacking the deep meaning and the stuff that should come attached to such a day......that makes me sorta sad to type that and feel that.....to think that such a special day, one of my favorite days in all my life, a day full of light and hope and promise, got so muddled and compromised over those years somehow......the intention so pure and real once upon a time.....and truthfully it feels like another lifetime anyway.....however the Jenn I get to be in my current lifetime was worth that lifetime indeed:) SO having said all that I made some plans for today.....kids are with their dad this weekend......I watched a movie last night and sunk into my alone time.....I have come to appreciate a night on my own to just chill.....watch a movie....relax.......and after state testing all week, the rainy night in did my soul good:) BUT today, despite the rain.....I am doing THE THINGS......there is a dress sale in Port I may check out, and then I am getting my second tattoo! I am super excited.....I am getting it on my other wrist.....I have a symmetry thing lol;-) but besides that.....I have been wanting to get a cross for awhile now......and I found one that has a tree within it that is perfectly me.......a nod to my hiking, and the crosses I find among the trees....and my faith.....and now my wrists will say to me faith and gratitude when I look at them.....my other tattoo being the universal sign for gratitude......I may also may add my favorite verse to the bottom of the cross somehow, still debating that......Joshua 1:9. Be strong and courageous.Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.
It is my favorite.....so I may add part of it too.....working on incorporating it somehow;-) Don't want it to be too busy or too big......and then tonight I am going OUT! Gonna go with a friend to catch some live music......and going to see where the night leads us! Mingle among the people........And during my women's series we discussed this one activity I had found about putting activities in your life that nurture vs ones that deplete.....and I had them make a list of activities in a day that they all do, and then think if they nurture or deplete....and it is important to think of......and when I think of my days now.....there are very few things that I participate in anymore that deplete or drain me.....they are no longer allowed on the docket;-)....and my intention has shifted to fill my days with stuff that fills me up......and gosh that shift is magical, truly:) I am going to grab a good workout this morning....my knee is almost 100 percent, so grateful....just the scrape remains some.....and do an extra long meditation.....and then hit my fun day and night ahead......and somewhere in my heart.....today......I will spend a moment, saying a little prayer......and having some reverence for what this day meant......once upon a time.......and extend compassion and grace to those two people all those years ago.....and feel grateful for them.....both of them......because without them and their journeys.....and playing their roles......I would not be here today......alive, awake, and happy......and grateful for the lessons.......Enjoy your Saturday y'all!:)
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