I have written some about this before.....all these themes ebbing and flowing and intermingling.....and sometimes stepping forward in new ways to take a look at, presenting new opportunities to grow......surrender has been a part of my journey over and over.....no question.......needing to surrender and submit to stuff over and over in the name of sanity and peace.....but yesterday I was reminded again about it.....needing to surrender my ego.....not get caught up in something that isn't for me....and instead send an "Ok sounds great thanks" text.....instead of stepping into the place of calling it all out and saying the truth.....as I see it.....and sending the text I sent takes strength......and requires me to surrender my ego.......because it doesn't matter.....not in a real sense......there is no point.....just futility.....and when I am able to lay down my ego and submit to my spirit......I win......win for myself, and my peace, and the world I have created myself......not allowing stuff to get in that threatens to disrupt or taint that.....and I shared a meme about that.....that if you allow your ego to be involved you can be easily manipulated.....and gosh do I understand that now.......and ego means "a person's sense of self-esteem or self-importance." so when we let it lead us and get all caught up in the snares in our lives, it brings misery....and really many times it isn't important......it just isn't......I have had to surrender my ego over and over in this process, and in dealing with my ex and his girlfriend.....just letting things be......and not let my ego get all up in it.....and recognize when my ego has been provoked, and feeling some kinda way.....and consciously step back.....feeling like my ego wants to impart justice, or wisdom, or clarity to a situation......I just lay it down......and let my spirit have a say......our spirits are much wiser than our egos;-) if you allow somebody to prick that part of you than you are easily manipulated.......always allowing yourself to get into battles to preserve all of that....and it is a waste of time and energy in every sense......truly......sometimes somebody will say something to me and I will think who cares what they think? Not my friend telling me the story, but the person they are so angry with, and wound up about.....thinking just let it go.......wishing I could help them understand what I have learned......feeling empathy that they are so upset about something that is stealing their joy in that way. but it isn't always easy to get there.......and maybe I did because there were SO many situations where my ego was assaulted.....and the alternative would have been just misery.....and that just wasn't an option for me......surrendering and submitting to what is, and realizing when stuff doesn't matter sets us free......allows us more joy and light......and most of what people do to us, doesn't matter......it is about them......not us.......a display of their internal selves........a representation of their spirits.......and the state of those things.......so my sense of my self esteem matters.......as a part of my ego.......but it isn't subject to somebody else's behavior......it is something that lies within me.....and is for me to tend to......so when I feel that button pushed......I step back.......breathe......and connect to my soul.......and smile......because my soul's got it;-) every single time.........
jperuso
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