It is amazing the stuff we accumulate in our lives........the things we think we need.....the things we carry with us from place to place......thinking we just might need that someday? Then someday comes and goes and we haven't needed it, and yet we hang on......It felt so good to clean out my life......clean out our lives together......letting go of so much stuff that had to go......and making the space inside my home freer.......I still have some more to do but yesterday was an enormous start......out with the old energy.....allowing room for the new.....I was trying to remember if we had filled a dumpster ever together? Or recently? I don't think so, because he always had a truck and could do dump runs......which is economical and works great too......but something about the dumpster just being here, felt easier and motivating to keep filling it......till it was full........I was so grateful my parents came to help.....it was so much work and I would not have been able to lift it all myself.....but would have tried;-) I worked from 7 to 4 yesterday.......just powering through and driven by that force that has found me since he left.......this fierce determination to accomplish what I set out to, no matter what......and no matter what I am doing......it takes me over and gives me endless energy and strength to do whatever is in front of me, for as long as I need to:) Pretty cool huh? Another gift........that has come from this......the fuel that I have ridden this last year plus on.......As I threw stuff in and let go I became lighter and lighter.......not needing to hang on to any of it.....I did have one pang.......I found our engagement picture and a picture of us when we first got together.......I contemplated keeping it for a moment......and then I thought why? Even keeping it for the kids? There is no need......so in the dumpster it went with a bittersweet pang in my heart.......all the things that need to be kept, are things that will in my memory and heart......the once upon a time stuff will eventually find a way to settle inside of me.......float down and rest softly somewhere after the dust truly settles, and life moves on some more......but in terms of keeping any of the stuff that is no longer of my life.......it has to go.......as the day ended yesterday and my body was screaming LOL:) My garage......my basement.....and my shed.......were all cleaned out......and the next on the list is inside my house.....and I will start to do that slowly.....and get rid of all that doesn't need to stay here room by room.......until my entire place is cleaned out, ready for my new life ahead.......I also have a sage stick.......and when the weather gets nice......I plan on opening up all the doors, all the windows, all of it and going from room to room........saying a prayer........releasing old energy and welcoming new, in MY new old house:)
jperuso
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