Yesterday I used a prison reference in my blog......it may have been a little intense a reference.....and I wanted to explain further and write about what I have been thinking about and how that came to be......my old life.......was one that while I was living it I cherished......there were many good times, and some of the best days of my life still reside in that space before......when I referenced having been set free from a prison.....I was thinking more of the last years of my marriage and in terms of my freedom as a woman in this life......I have narrowed my life coach niche to helping women find empowerment, inspiration, and visibility in their lives after divorce and infidelity.......I do think as a society we play small in our lives much of the time......limiting our possibilities by way of excuses, ones that feel super valid.......by our obligations......we are too busy, we are too this, we are too that.......and women particularly have a ton of duty in their lives......duty that sometimes stands in the way of their fire, their dreams ,their purpose, their PLACE in their own lives.......and that is what I was referencing..... in the couple of years leading up to the end of the marriage I was essentially invisible....at least it felt that way to me......no room for me at all.....just running hard to make sure everybody else in the family felt visible......had their needs met.......were the primary focus, and in that process I lost myself completely......and throughout the years that had happened before too......no room to take care of me, because I was taking care of everybody to the detriment of myself......and that isn't what we should be doing as women........I am a caregiver by nature......I like to care for others if I can......I like to make people feel warm, feel loved, feel seen, feel taken care of......but this year has taught me it has to apply to me too.....I have learned to give those things to myself......so in addition to the prison of duty we sometimes find ourselves in......I think we can also can end up in the prison of our excuses.....that one feels so good right? I have totally been there.....saying I can't do_____________ fill in whatever blank because________________. I still can end up there if I don't catch myself........I have now been mindful of catching myself if I can when I make excuses and try and reframe it......one of the biggest places I did that once upon a time was around exercise.......let's face it we all know that we should be exercising......its benefits are far reaching.......and I have been really good throughout my adult life with creating a habit and sticking to it at certain points along the way.....but at the other points excuses like no time, not enough energy came into play and they felt really valid......but the truth is we make time for what is our priority......I am busy now in my life and I manage to still exercise 7 days a week.....so that excuse I made was just that an excuse........so I try and challenge myself when I find myself wandering into that prison cell and limiting myself by my excuses......to not close the door and set myself free..........we set up these prisons in our mind all of the time......and even though I feel Nick freed me......I really could still be living in a prison if I didn't open the door and step outside.......or fight my way through it.......the only way we can achieve true freedom from the prisons we create is by doing so in our minds......shattering our beliefs......shattering our self limiting beliefs.....shedding the weight of other's beliefs......and living our truth.....and when we seek to do that, we end up truly FREE..........
jperuso
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