Some things are happening in my life that I have written about directly......and there are some that I have not......but rest assured there is a bunch;-) and some of it is heavy......really heavy........and I am reminded that when the burdens get too heavy that I am holding on too tightly to things and outcomes, placing too much intention in the outcomes.......waiting for a result.......wishing for some clear answer or resolution......and just when I step into that old familiar snare, I snap myself back and remind myself that the power lies in the letting go......the release.......the free fall.......the trusting......the faith.......the all of it......and when I can remember that.......in a situation.....sooner than later........I get to be free.......free from the burden.......I had to take this week off.......no way around it......it will affect my finances......and I am trusting......just leaning back and floating.......knowing it will all work out.......somehow, some way.....and with the rest I am doing the same.......and as I learn these things.....and apply them to my life.....and share them.......I always feel gratitude for the gifts that showed up on the other side of the explosion in my life........boy have I learned a lot in two years, and the lessons keep on a coming:) and I welcome them all.....that is why we are here right? To change......to be different as we walk our journey......knowing better and doing better.......not staying stagnant and stuck......but truth is old habits die hard......that is so true......so my journey is a forever dance of not falling into old habits and patterns, catching myself and creating a new default.....and it gets easier each time.....and I know if I apply and am disciplined enough these will become my new automatic response.......let go......release......trust.......relax......all of it......so this week has been a blessing in that I got to spend so much time with my kids......quietly and without interruption......we just hung and watched movies......and got to just be......and work understood and was lovely about my being out......and it all worked out......and well that is it right.......all that could be done.......my intention each day is to do enough things in my day- writing- exercise- meditation- positive thinking- that can help me raise my vibration above whatever circumstance comes into my experience.....it def requires my intention and for me to be mindful of it all.....but the effort is always worth it.....I have gotten great workouts in this week.....being reminded of how powerful it is to trust your body.....like really trust it.....I know the difference now......and I will always make choices that allow me to live in this body and maintain the strength and health I have found.....we live in our bodies.....and it feels better to live in this one.......and I know how to maintain it.....I used to suffer with back pain.....neck pain......fatigue........all sorts of subtle and not so subtle bad feelings in my body. I dealt with them for a long time......trying so many things to make them go away.......not realizing the answer was there all along.....and now I don't.........ironically as I type this.....it occurs to me that it is all about trust.......my trust of people being damaged in the end of my marriage.....but my learning still as I traveled the aftermath to trust other things.......to shift that powerful a notion, and apply it to other parts of my life and have my trust be well placed......I long for the day that I can take all this trust and know that I can freely place it in another......and it will be as safe as it has been in all the rest.......amen;-) happy Saturday everybody, enjoy;-)
jperuso
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