I wrote the other day about fear and how it builds cages around us and our lives....keeping them small and scared, instead of open and free.....and this morning sitting in my house.....my favorite chair....typing my blog after returning from our mini adventure I feel super accomplished.....for having done it.....despite my resistance.....and some reluctance finding me....and what I have found on this journey I am on is that growth and confidence is bred in all the things and places we go, that we don't always want to.....the places that scare us a little.......it is the only way....and on the ride home I was thinking some about that.....I grew a ton in my old life too.....don't misunderstand.......but the difference is subtle to me.....in my old life I grew by default more often......big life events finding me, one after the other, and my having no choice but to embrace them and grow......or thinking I had no choice;-) but I think the big difference in my new life is that I am CHOOSING growth more often.....there hasn't been a big catalyst for a bit now, and I hope my big catalyst days are over lol:) but in my day to day....in my normal life now, I am choosing to grow and stretch myself in ways I never did.....in my once upon a time life.....I would be hit with a big life event......spend some time growing, and be glad when it was over so I could settle into my life and what felt "normal" to me......normal has officially left my life, for good I think:) and I am OK with that.....and when stimuli comes to challenge me, and my comfort zone I know it is asking something of me....and I am trying to face it all and choose growth.....whatever that means.......and for this week it was another solo trip with my kids to Niagara......and I did it.....so on the other side of resisting building that cage, the one that would have kept us home.....I have found more confidence and growth, magic right:) I always do booking bookings, so you can pay at the property and cancel if you need to shortly before the stay.....and I almost bailed this time feeling really close to it.....which again I cannot pinpoint what was eating at me.....and I knew it wasn't an intuitive nudge....like one that I should heed and not go.....it was coming from a different place in me, the part that lies lol:) so I decided to shut it down, and pack the car and go, and my gosh I cannot tell you how happy I am that I did......it was just what we needed before school begins.....such a special time to share together......and I am so glad I chose growth! It can be kinda challenging and tiring sometimes.....and sometimes I don't wanna lol but it is never not worth it.....so yeah I guess the nuance I figured out is the growth that finds us versus the growth we choose.....they feel very different.......and not feeling fearful in my day to day has been like nothing I have ever experienced.......a freedom that is such a gift.....so as for today it is time to get down to business......wrapping up my loose ends of summer before I get back to work next week! Excited to get a good workout in today in my space and get back into our groove! Happy Friday y'all:)
jperuso
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