I wrote about stress being such a killer yesterday and my understanding that clearly now with the absence of its impact in my life......mostly;-) and stress is not the only one......anger is another......and resentment.......hanging onto stuff we should let go of.....the more I let go the happier I become:) There are some really big things that I could allow myself to be overtaken by and I just won't......It all begins with our mindset......and here is an example.....I don't share it to start a firestorm, or dwell on it very much at all, but I think it it a really good example of what I am trying to convey about our peace, and the importance of hanging onto it.....NO MATTER WHAT........so I have written about my unfinished kitchen......the one he and I started renovating two months before he left, and the one that still remains unfinished, 3 years later.....the kids shared that he has a brand new kitchen where he lives now with his girlfriend......he has been doing renovations for months for the kid's rooms etc......and a new kitchen......and I knew that......and well.....do I need to say the rest.....the part where he should have helped me finish mine first, or at the very least alongside the rest......or acknowledge it at all.....or........you get the idea.......but the point is I DON'T LIVE in those spaces.....I refuse to.......those are the poisonous ones......the deadly ones.......because if I did spend my time, and precious energy lamenting about that fact......my kitchen......vs his.......it would only steal my joy......make me feel all those terrible things.....and my kitchen would still remain undone.......so there is no point......I know what he should be doing......or he should have done.......and I know he does too.....and whether he ever does.....well that will be on him......not my business anymore......being angry and rolling around in the lack of justice of it is futile......one million percent so.......I feel anger sometimes don't misunderstand......and I never deny myself those feeling when they come.....but then I seek to shift my mindset and LET IT GO......anger is a cheap emotion....it is the one that covers all of our REAL ones......so when it comes I try and seek what is actually there.....and 9 times out of 10 it is hurt.......so I work through the hurt and move on........resentment is another killer and being a grudge holder.......it is funny if you see any memes about the astrological signs and grudges, they say Tauruses are glorious grudge holders;-)......I must have missed that class......lol:) I have never been able to hold a grudge, not ever......I think maybe my fascination with people, and my empathy is bigger than that......so I am forever seeking to understand the motivation behind people's actions.....and feeling empathy and compassion for their human condition.......even my ex......he is no exception, and receives those things from me too......I don't forget all he has done to me, and continues to at times.....but I don't hold a grudge against it.....again that would just poison me........so I think the point of today's blog and yesterday's............ is to just really express that our life, and more specifically the quality of it, is OUR responsibility.......each day.....no matter what......we have a choice to be victims of circumstances.....drug around by what happens to us, and lamenting endlessly.......OR.......taking ownership of those things and finding joy and peace......despite......an unfinished kitchen......or endless injustice.......;-) or justice depending on how you look at it.......;-) I think for me, I sacrificed so much of my peace, happiness, and health during those final years of my marriage that I decided pretty early on I wasn't willing to do it anymore.....no matter what......stress.......anger.......resentment.......it is our job to let that STUFF GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! None of it is worth it.......karma is real.......and it takes care of what it needs to, and despite my kitchen being undone, I have been infinitely blessed in the last 2.5 years.....and it has been a magical ride so far.....a life I didn't even know could exist......let alone live......and I can't wait to see how it continues to unfold.....and those are the things I cling to.....not the things I cannot change.......so choose happy today y'all........choose to LET GO of something that is poisoning you......I promise you it doesn't really matter:) And by doing that YOU WIN...:) Happy Tuesday!:)
jperuso
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