It never gets less amazing for me to pay attention to the natural order of things....things falling into place as they should......like a cosmic jigsaw puzzle made of divine appointments, pieces, and moments...... finding their way to order in the day to day.....and I truly believe that.....and have come to believe it more and more as time goes on.....wondering now, if the happenings in our lives, even the stuff we deem "wrong"....is still part of the order of things? I have been coming to that over and over with my ex husband's affair.....I cannot believe that my life is meant to be in this chapter.....that the new road that has been laid out before me.....my feeling like I am finally becoming who I came here to be.....my mission to help other women...all of those things are meant to be, and then believe that he was not supposed to meet the other woman and begin his new story?? Those two things don't make sense.....apart from one another...... I feel like those two things are not separate in terms of logic......and it definitely flips the script for me when I think of it...like that....and think that maybe the judgement we place on things.....or the feelings or thoughts we place on situations is just all wrong?? Like it is futile to place things in a good and bad category.....I feel like sometimes.....there is value in just letting things be.....accepting it all, what comes and goes.....and trusting the process.....no matter what? I am sort of coming to understand.....that we cannot place confines on the people in our lives.....hoping they will stay forever....or betting on it....and I am not condoning affairs.....do not misunderstand:) Cheating on somebody is one of the most painful things you can do to another human.....I still believe that......and I do not think you should breach those boundaries.....and if you feel called to leave, it should be done in the light not the shadows......I just mean that I feel now.....that you cannot keep a person in your life that doesn't want to be there, or isn't meant to be in your life anymore....and you cannot chase one off that is?? It has been proven to me over and over in this story.....and in watching the lives of others spin around me.....I believe that if I looked at the map of my life way back when.....I would have seen the crossroads of my journey with my ex was marked on that map.....the place where we dropped hands, and walked on in different directions.....and part of that was his meeting her.....perhaps the catalyst to it all.....and along the way I have had my own divine appointments....moments of impact, and meeting new folks in my new life, that felt very important and a part of it all.....and I am not sure if I am fully articulating what it is I feel this morning, but I guess I just mean that it all matters:).....and everybody's journey is valid even if we don't agree with what they have done.....everybody has pieces of their puzzle that need to come together.....so.....I trust it.....and I am working to remove all judgement of things that go on around me....and believe in the process of it all for everybody......without the darkness in my story.....the darkness he brought to our doorstep, the light I have found would not have been possible....I wish him well in his new story......hoping he finds the things he seeks too...knowing, deeply....that we are both exactly where we are meant to be......
jperuso
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