I have been feeling inspired lately....like the energy of the new year is bringing some release of stagnation that I had been feeling in the last year.....spinning my wheels it felt at certain points, and now I feel like like my car is moving along the highway, top down, sun shining;-) Feeling the energy that is leading my way....and in line with some inspiration that came to find me, I have been coming up with ways to expand my blog content some, and write about some new things.....I still feel it is important for me to write about my journey, in real time, and share it as it comes;-) Wildly therapeutic;-) and helps me sort it all out....but I thought it would be fun to sprinkle in some other things too! Go back some in my story some, and bring forth some things that have made deep impressions on me, and this story came to mind........so here we go;-)
I talk about magic a lot both in writing and speaking.....Mads and I talk about it often, and she gets it like I do....and maybe some other people are not sure what I mean when I say it....magic for me is that unexplained undercurrent of life....the one that hums beneath the surface of our lives, and reminds us that we are so much smaller than we believe we are......that the world and the universe is vast, and mysterious......powerful and beautiful.....and magical.....and it turns out the more you look for it the more you find:) The world is full of those moments, the ones that stop you in your tracks....I think I love nature so much, because magic abounds there;-) So it occurred to me to think back on when I became aware of magic.....and I think maybe Christmas morning might have been my earliest introduction to magic, or Christmas Eve and waiting on the big guy to do his thing;-).....and I can think of so many other times as a kids, exploring the world with my family and friends......but this memory stepped forward as a magical time in my life.....I am a deep chick....I make no apologies about that....I love deep conversations, real talk, and getting down about the things that really make a person tick.....I have always felt that....and as a kid it made me feel separate....most kids as a whole didn't care about what I did.....and I see my daughter feeling her depth too now as she is getting older, and the ways that it can challenge you.....and I am glad I can be here for her as she navigates that:) and I cannot remember how old I was exactly....I am terrible at that part lol;-) But I was a pre teenish age.....and I had become friends with a kid named Mike.....I have always had great friends with guys all of my life, and enjoyed those friendships so much....and he was a great guy friend....and we would talk on the phone for hours about lots of deep stuff....and he was sorta my person during that time.....and his friendship helped me not feel so alone in my thoughts and feelings..... ....and there was a span of time when we would hang out and do stuff.....he would walk from his house which was a couple of miles up the road, and he and I and another friend of ours would hang out and do stuff....it was summer time and it would stay light late.....and lots of time I would walk Mike home, halfway.....or he would meet me halfway and we would walk to my house.....and many of those walks took place at night.....under the stars...in the quiet....and there is something about walking at night that is magical....all by itself....I was reminded this past summer when I took that late night walk home on the beach.....and there is nothing like it....the sky above you and the stars shining.......and on those many walks Mike and I took, or the three of us took, we would talk about all of it......going super deep with one another about life, our fears, our hopes, our lives everything.....and it was magical to me.....my feeling magic in another human so clearly....a kindred spirit.....and it was a special time.....my knowing I could walk him halfway home, and sometimes I would walk him all the way home because our conversation would get a hold of me....lol:) And I never felt lonely walking back home....and sometimes our other friend walked too, and she was equally as magical and deep and all of it was so sweet and pure.....and human connection at its finest.....like our souls recognizing each other on some level....and I absolutely love when that happens.....I think we all have OUR people in this life.....the people that we have met along the way that have resonated with our soul on another level.....the people that inspired magic in us.....or shared theirs with us...:) And even if it is temporary.....it doesn't make it any less important.....I haven't seen or spoken to Mike in years...don't know anything about him now.....but back then he was in my pile of people......important ones....that I so looked forward to sharing my time with......and my thoughts....the ones that I didn't always feel safe setting free.....As I was remembering it all on my drive home from work......I was remembering feeling like I had to hold my depth back when I was a kid....not wanting to scare anybody away with sharing all I was thinking about lol......and wanting to seem more "normal"......and talk and think about kid stuff lol:) And I think what made that time, and Mike so magical to me, was his willingness to let me be free....to see me and hear me.....and he enjoyed talking about all of it as much as I did.....and it was fun remembering him....and our time together....I am thinking of him fondly....and appreciating the time we spent together in this life and hoping he feels the same:)
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