Mads talks to me every night before we go to bed, and in the mornings when we are getting ready.....and she tells me all of it....all of the stuff that goes on inside of her....all of her friends stuff....all of the stuff she thinks about, or worries about.....and it touches my heart....sometimes by that time of night I am so talked out I wanna hide lol:) But I dig a little deeper and remain her captive audience:) And it is my bliss......to have her trust me and share it all with me......And before I took her to her dad's house last night she told me a story about school yesterday....and she can be super emotional.....she has lots of water in her chart and her emotions are deep and wide.....she is way more outwardly emotional than I am....and I work hard to understand it in her.....and she is learning to manage all of her emotions at her young age....and she got into a little with her best friend....and her friend upset her.....and sorta kept at her, when they were playing a game outside, and Mads ended up yelling at her....and losing her cool....and she felt sorry about it....she said as soon as I saw her face mom, I realized.....and then she said everybody looked at me, not realizing that she had done something to me......and it looked like it was all me....and it was a valuable lesson for her.....I talked to her about it....saying our power lies in our calm.....even when others stir our pot.....it is worth the effort it takes to take a step back, and calm ourselves.....I wanted to use the examples of early on in my divorce journey, and having my ex and his girlfriend attempt to goad me into battle with them or skirmishes.....and at the time my emotions were so heightened it took great restraint not to bite....but it is one of the things I am most proud of in this story......and it was my power all along.....my calm.....self control is indeed a superpower....but I did not use those examples with her....I just told her there have been times when I too lost my temper and felt sorry about it....and it happens to us all....and it is normal...and all we can do is try and be conscious of it, and move forward.....and try harder next time......and she felt relieved....she had apologized to her friend, and all was right with the world by that point....and she said I knew I could tell you about this, and that you would understand.....she always starts her stories with I have to tell you something.....promise you won't be mad;-) And I say yes.....I promise to try and understand Mads....and I always do......it is never anything crazy, but to her it is big stuff.....she is very deep, insightful, and self aware for such a little gal:) I am so proud of her for starting that journey so young, and examining the things in her that do not serve her....and trying to fix them, like WOW right:) So our lines of communication are WIDE OPEN....and I plan on keeping it that way.....providing a space for her to come with her real....her mess.....her human....her stuff and providing a safe space for it to fall and helping her sort the pieces and put it back together:) Our relationship is such a gift to my life, one I do not take for granted, not ever:) Happy Saturday! :)
jperuso
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