Happy Valentine's Day everybody! Today is a day when we typically think of the love we have in our lives.......the special people we share our lives with......women dream of romantic gestures......some grand showing of love.......not necessarily in a gift box......just a well executed display of romance and love........and in thinking of that.....maybe Valentine's day falls short for most......such pressure......right? And I remember not loving the day in my married life......it felt stressful to find the right gift or figure out what to do to make the day special......maybe it didn't feel that way early on.....but as time went on it began to......and this is the second one I am spending on my own and it got me to thinking this.......the fact is that this entire year......as I have stepped into my journey......accepted all that has been meant for me and my heart......I have managed to have the greatest love affair of my life.......and it has been with me......for me.......and honoring me........finally seeing me again......and treating myself the way I have always wished a lover would.......with kindness and compassion.....with patience.......with joy and peace in my heart........with a smile on my face........with simple joy running through it all.....a simple yet profound love.......I have known many people over the years that don't love themselves......myself included at a certain point in my life.....and the effects of denying ourselves that are all reaching.......not loving yourself affects nearly every part of a person's life........if you lack a love for you, you show up in all the wrong stories......settling for all the wrong things.......not ever honoring your true heart and purpose.......and I struggle sometimes to do those things......to always make the best and most loving choices for me.....but I am trying......each and every day.......putting myself on the list of things to pay attention to.......to give to........and it has created a profound shift for me......allowing me to really feel loved.......despite being alone.......kind of a crazy phenomenon.........to be able to give yourself the love you have been missing for such a long time.......I now know what it feels like to be loved.....and what doesn't feel like love.......and I won't stay at tables any longer where I am not loved.......where I am not shown a healthy display of love from friends or from anybody really.......I am the gatekeeper now to all those things......what you allow in your life is what will continue to be.......and sometimes you have to be strong enough to say no more.......because it is not honoring the space you want to live in......and I have gotten much better at doing that.......at honoring my boundaries......and seeking what I deserve.......maybe for the first time in all my life.........really considering what I DESERVE.....and until I find the love that I know I deserve.......I will love myself in the ways that I deserve........and take that job very seriously............I hope if you are reading this your day is filled with love from those that love you, but more importantly I hope you are loving on yourself too!
jperuso
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