I have explored the concept of freedom a lot in this story.....and in the beginning I compared the freedom I was feeling to somebody leaving the gate open....and me just taking off and going for a run.....realizing that my life and my experience could be limitless......and coupling that with not answering to anybody about it... and well.....it feels pretty amazing.....I have never felt as free as I do now......but freedom is more than the things I just mentioned.....freedom comes when you learn to insulate and protect yourself from outside forces......ones that can threaten to rob you of those peaceful and free feelings....and I have learned to do that.......connecting to everything.....attaching to nothing.....not the outcome just the experience.....just letting most of it be as it is, or how it shows up......and at times I have forgotten that, and held on too tightly to what isn't for me, and those amazing feelings I have were threatened.....and letting go returned them to me......but another crucial piece of freedom......is being able to be YOU......like REALLY you.......and there is deep freedom in that......and in the last three years I have attracted many new people to my life that allow me to be me, and have tried and true people in my life that have always allowed for that.....and I have been able to be me more than I have in the 45 years before that.....and that is worth everything.....and there are still relationships I have where that freedom to be me is tempered a little.....not fully understood by a few people.....and I suppose that cannot be helped totally.....but my intention......my goal on any given day is to be in the company of those that allow and accept me for being me.....and my new friend gets that about me.....and I feel comfortable being me with him...........and he seems to really get me....and that feels really good.....I had decided when I started dating that I was showing up as me every time.....not pretending or altering myself for anybody......or for first dates.....I was going all in as me and seeing where that found me.....and since he and I have been friends on FB for the last two years since we met, he has had the opportunity to sort of get to know me some, and understand the mission I am on......and so far it is going really well.....just a lovely little new spot in my life....but staying really low key and balanced......our third date is this weekend....and I am really looking forward to it....so I suppose I write about this today to express my need to be free in my life....in all the best ways.....and honor the places in my life where freedom is found....and as humans we often lock ourselves in cages.....without even realizing it.....the cages are comprised of so many things.....fear, hate, anger, jealousy, self doubt, worry, negativity, and the list goes on......and we need not do that.....none of that.....we get to decide to open the doors of our cages and fly free, leaving it all behind:) And intentionally walk away from the things that diminish our freedom......tasting real freedom.....real freedom.....has been an experience I will never fully be able to articulate....the night my ex left he set me free.....in every single way....and it just took me some time to realize that.....like when a well trained dog sees the gate was left open and still sits in its spot.....it took me a minute to get up and walk through that gate to run.....but boy oh boy am I sure glad I did;-) Happy Friday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
jperuso
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