I have received so much amazing advice through this......being able to talk to so many other people that have walked this path......been through this horror and what they found on the other side......Early on in one of the books I read, there was a profound nugget of truth that I found in that book.....the author was my spirit animal, it seemed she had adopted the same things I did to cope with her husband's cheating and her divorce.....running and writing......and what she said was simple......"you need to train like a warrior".......and it is one hundred percent the truth......because divorce is a marathon not a sprint......you need to be strong and fit both in your mind and body to endure all that comes your way.......and I really took that advice to heart......I truly feel like working out everyday and pushing myself in my body has helped my mind become stronger......blogging has been a lifeline that has kept my mind cleared of what comes to me in the day to day and now meditation......I wanted to pass along that advice......share how important it is to tap into your inner warrior......we all have one there waiting for us to summon them when we need......have been so grateful for the strength I have found there.......some other advice I have received is just in letting go......letting go of what he does......who he chooses to be......who he shows up as.....all of it.....control my stuff and protect my kids and let the rest go.......it isn't always easy.....and it is never usually "fair"........but it is always worth it......and some advice that I would pass along to somebody going through this.......is to always take the high road......and be kind about your spouse to your kids........no matter what.......I have done that and the peace it brings is huge.......I don't have to be sorry down the road for damage done.......for not being kind about their dad......for getting embroiled in nonsense and making this worse than it already is.......the high road is not easy.......it is hard......and the amount of restraint it requires can be tough......but it has been worth it to me each and every time......and normally just giving myself space in a moment to find my peace again is enough........because what it does is it allows me to live in the peace that I have.....the peace that I paid an enormous price for and the peace I am not giving back.......not ever.........there have been many things I have learned in this......humbling things........things I wish I hadn't needed to learn in this life.....and the advice of others has been a really special part of this.......or just the listening to what it is I am experiencing.....then validating it.......and giving me a space to lay it down.........There are days when I wish this hadn't happened.......wished that Nick had chosen a different path in all of this and our family could have remained.......but in remained in a better way.......but that was not to be......as we are all on our own journeys......I believe what I do in the future, perhaps professionally and personally will all be tied to these days.....and the meaning of it all will become very clear.....in the meantime I am learning and growing each and every day....and welcoming the wise advice that comes my way........each and every day......
jperuso
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