So most people that know me know that I try and live in the space of gratitude as often as I can.......If I wander out of that space........... I try hard to bring myself back......I think we should all appreciate as much as we can for as long as we can......however I feel when you are in a relationship it sometimes becomes more challenging to not take things for granted.......especially one that spans many years.........it gets harder to "see" someone.....like really "see" them and all they are doing......because in the day to day your marriage and life become a quiet hum of routine and responsibility.........and in the repetitive nature of love, of life, and of marriage it can be easy to lose sight of "your person".......to stop being as grateful as you should be for all that they do and all that they are..........and it got me to thinking how do we fix that in us as humans......how do we hold onto that space forever.......the space where we see the people in our lives for who they are and all that they do.......what practice would help ensure that that will never happen again??.......and likely it is may be as easy as just committing to remain conscious of it........because I truly think if we appreciated each other more in this life......if we made sure to express that appreciation often and out loud things would be so different........I would like to say that my husband's lack of gratitude toward me was one of the only downfalls of my marriage....that he was the ONLY one that lacked appreciation for me....... but that wouldn't be the whole story.....only a part of it.......I definitely did not feel appreciated at certain times over the years and did not feel he was grateful for all I was trying to do....however at other times I did........I felt it wax and wane over the years.......however if I look at myself at certain parts of my marriage I could say the same about me......I would suppose the biggest thing I took for granted is the knowledge I rested with that told me it would last forever......that our marriage was safe no matter what........that we would grow old together..........live happily ever after......the end........and that was a huge misstep........something I should not have taken for granted at all........obviously I have had a lot of time to reflect and in our normal lives it is not so easy to do that......but I do not blame the entire downfall of our marriage on him......I just don't........I am aware of my role at certain times......and how I may have contributed to it too..........but what I will say is this......if we had been able to conquer the never taking any of it for granted thing, not taking each other for granted........seeing each other everyday...........it would have been life changing for both of us.....So I guess I share this for those of you that read my blog faithfully........try and conquer that in your own lives if you can.....in your own marriages....make a commitment to seeing each other.......even on the hard days.....the busy days......the stressful days........because we all want to be seen.......for who we are.....for what we do........for how hard we try.......for our humanness.......our vulnerability......our spirit.........for so many things.........and when the person we love the most in the world, our partner.....validates what we hold dear in us.........it changes everything........so if you are reading this........and maybe feel you haven't been super appreciative of your spouse.....or maybe haven't felt appreciated........try and flip that script and make it a priority.......to acknowledge what you love in them........what they see in you.......and keep that in the front row of your marriage...........hold onto it fiercely......don't let it slip into the background.......because remaining grateful for what another human brings to your life............is almost the greatest gift you can give another......each and every day.......and so very worth it! I am committing to doing the same......telling my people as often as I can.....what they mean and why I am so grateful to them......I want to truly thank those of you that read my blog daily.......truly.....I would write it even if nobody read it but it is such a gift that you do.......thank you:)
jperuso
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