Surrender always makes me think initially of "giving up"........surrendering something in a way that diminishes you.....but I have learned that surrender is powerful.......I have so many things in my life ending at one time......and am in another transitional place......where surrender will need to step forward with its wisdom........and guide me in the letting go......of all of it.......grieving the loss of my special friendship......headed to finalizing my divorce......moving may still be on the table......working toward building an alternative career......all places in my life where I am forging ahead into the unknown......leaving all I have known behind.......and so many variables......so many moving parts......and if I held onto all of them......grasping for control.......or maybe gasping for it......I would literally drive myself insane......so instead I need to go inward......into the quiet......the sense in my soul......and realize my power is in the stopping and being still......in the leaning back......and in the ability to float........to just "be" amid all the uncertainty.........get comfortable in the uncomfortable again.....and know that all of it will work for my greater good......gosh am I so glad that I see the world that way......that I trust the journey so much......that my faith is rock solid.......that I have moved past sweating the small details......obsessing over any of it......just trusting that if it falls away it is meant to....and if it comes to me it is meant for me......and that the cycles of our lives have a beginning and an ending......and that we need to embrace the change that are those cycles......the ebb and flow that is our lives......so I am trusting that all of what I am facing now.....is sort of a purging of sorts.....setting a clean slate.....clearing out the energy that is needed to go.......so that I can move forward......in a real way........divorced officially......perhaps in a new place......and ready for all that is next.......and it is easy to fight the uncertainty.......I had some moments yesterday where I felt super overwhelmed by all the "what ifs".........leading me down a slippery slope.......and I indulged it for some time.....let the initial feelings come......rattle my cage........and then I steadied myself.....understanding that my power is in the letting go every single time.......hanging onto the barbed wire is such a futile act......and so so harmful.......nothing to be gained from that really......and as soon as I released my clenched fist and let go of that barbed wire........I felt the peace enter my heart and soul again:) So simple.......yet so hard to do sometimes.......I woke up super early this morning, having had a dream of looking out the window.....and seeing this super large, chubby Robin bird outside my window with a bright crimson red breast.....and as I woke up it was so so vivid.....and I looked up the meaning of dreaming of such a thing......and what I read was this...
"When you see red robins, bear in mind that they often represent new beginnings, growth, and rejuvenation in many areas of your life. He or she can help you learn how to embrace change with a smile and an open heart. What is this? You'll learn how to focus upon yourself and your own personal development from Robin, too!"
So I suppose that says it all right? LOL:). All these changes I am feeling are certainly being confirmed in my dreaming life too!;-) Embracing change has been a gift of this past year too.....and I will continue to recognize change and challenges as pathways to a new place.....a new mindset.....a new way of being in the world.....with the potential to totally change the game.....each and every time!
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