Things have reached a fever pitch in the storm that I have found myself in.......and I am not sure what lies ahead.......And I have spent a lot of time and energy.....and done a lot of healing, to acquire peace in my life......and it is magnificent......seeking it all of my life, and finally finding it.......a true treasure in my life..........and while I haven't been able to control all that has come to try and rob me of that peace......I have been able to hang onto it no matter what most of the time, or find my way back to it quickly if I have lost my way......not letting it vanish into the abyss again......and my kids get to live in a house of peace.....the three of us have an easy flow......calm......and chill......and even on my stormiest days I have been able to regain peace in the day, and find it every single day, somehow some way......and last night I got caught for a minute in a storm, one that doesn't belong to me......one that has nothing to do with me.....and the storm has been brewing for awhile.....I have felt it building.....and knew we would find ourselves here......even though I had deeply hoped it could have been avoided......and feel I tried my best to avoid it.......and the seas are getting stormier.......and long ago in my blog I talked about seeking to be the eye of the storm......not get caught in it, or caught up in it.....and I still feel that way.....my peace came at a high price, and I suffered immensely to find it, and I am not willing to give it up for any reason.....no matter what......and I will do everything in my power to navigate this storm with my peace in tact.......and dipping my toe in the storm last night was my reminder.....I tend to think people will meet me where I am, and communicate that way, hearing my heart and what I have to say, and seeking resolution......and that just isn't true....people are navigating their own journeys......their own narratives......carrying their own bags, and living life through their lens..........so for today I am not giving the storm my attention, or thinking of it, or any of it.....the way to remain peaceful amid it all is to turn to the things that I know bring peace......and for myself and the kids today, that is to have an epic adventure.....before school takes hold on Monday, and life gets more intense.....we are going to hike in a new spot today, and explore some cool stuff.....enjoying the beautiful weather.....and then I am going to take them out to eat somewhere, and just soak them both in.......doing my best to calm the storms within them too.......because unfortunately this storm is affecting them too.....and I am doing my best to shield them from the heavy rain and wind.....and sometimes I feel helpless in that.....hating the things they have had to endure....and the things I never wanted for them....the things that have found them........but having only so much power in that......so we are batting down the hatches for today......filling our souls with nature, and all of this gorgeous weather.....and laying the rest of it down......seeking peace and stillness.....Happy Friday! Enjoy the weekend:)
jperuso
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