I was talking to a friend yesterday about life and things......and they said they had been thinking about my life, and how much I have been through, and that they couldn't believe how much I had gone through up until now......and sometimes that comes to me....when I think of it all......or something will remind me that somebody else's life is "easier"......or has had "less of this" or "more of this"......but I spend very little time in the comparison game......it is not a worthwhile one......I have learned that we all have a story.....all have our challenges....some visible, and some not so visible.......and I don't think I have ever felt like my life was anything but ultimately blessed, even though...........a lot has happened......and I think that all of it was building my spiritual stamina......making me stronger......wiser......more grateful......braver......all of it.......in preparation for my divorce......like building a muscle at the gym......working out my faith and my strength and my coping skills.......I am grateful that I do not have an addictive personality and that using anything to numb any of the pain, that has come to find me in this life, just isn't my thing......I feel fortunate that that is the case.......I kinda default to digging in and dealing with it and trying to find a solution or way around it.......I remember when I was in the throes of a deep anxiety and panic disorder, I was so committed to finding a solution to save myself from that......reading all the books I could......getting help from a therapist......going on medication for a short time, just doing anything I could to find my way on the other side, always having faith there was another side......so each time I have been knocked down, my spiritual sense, and my beliefs about God and the world, have saved me......knowing that it won't rain forever, and that the sun always shines, or is always there even if it is hard to see......so my story in this life.....thus far......isn't a sad one to me.....or a tragic one......I am too blessed for that.......it is just a story of a girl who has needed to learn how to fight for herself, and persist over and over, and journey her way to the life she was always meant to live......to finally be who she came here to be:) And every moment that I have walked through in my past has led me right here......to this spot......doing just that:) Grateful and appreciative and humbled..........Amen:)
jperuso
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