I am struggling this morning to get my motor running sans coffee;-)....my colonoscopy isn't until 10;45 and no coffee feels cruel and unusual......in all of the ways......and yesterday's prep, not my favorite lol:) But I will be glad to get it over with......but having this test, just routine.....and all this surveillance stuff I do, reminds me of my newfound faith......during the play this past Friday, and watching the story of Daniel come to life......the majority of that story was surrounding faith.....the kind that exists no matter what......and that is the kind of faith I now have....I was identifying deeply with Daniel.......and knowing that no matter what it is OK......or will be.....last year having a breast biopsy, and not fearing the outcome, just feeling the peace that passes understanding......was absolutely remarkable to me.......and the freedom found in THAT kind of faith has no bounds.......priceless......I know that all the twists and turns of my story lead me to right where I belong at any given moment.....and trust it fully....so today I am not worried about my test.....knowing it will all be fine.....however it is.....and then I had another moment when my Pastor preached about Job and his faith, and the questioning of the difficulty of his life etc....and wondering about the trials.....and that spoke to me.....both stories helping me find identification and resonation within my own journey......I have felt the lion's den Daniel found himself in.....I truly have.....I could identify with being that alone, and in that much darkness, and clinging to my faith like a buoy in the night......and that is the gift that faith gives me......a light in the dark, always:) I do my part to listen to the nudges, and make the moves that I need to, and then lean in to trusting it all......so in a little bit I will head to my parents with the kids, so they can take me to Middletown to do the thing.....and finally check it off my to do list! Then I think swimming is in order at my parents with my kiddos.....and relaxing, and getting a cup of coffee lol:) Luckily the prep for this test is such that hunger is kept at bay.....not feeling hungry a bit this morning lol......and actually not as tired as I thought I might have been.....Might exercise a little too to get the blood pumping, and my eyes a opening.....but I would have been remiss if I had not remarked and acknowledged the spiritual sprinkle of extra stuff the last week has brought.....a much needed respite from the energy of the other week.....reminders found everywhere of the power of faith.....and the way faith holds us up when we need it.....and that practicing faith in our lives is the way....in whatever way we are able, or in whatever way makes sense to each of us.....I spent a lot of years being afraid, and having fear win....... and being free of fear, in a real sense has been a great gift to my life.....changing it in all of the best ways.....Enjoy the day! Mid week hump, climbing right over it;-)
jperuso
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