I had my therapy appointment by phone yesterday.....and it was just what I needed amid the storms I am finding myself in at the moment......and my therapist was my marriage counselor once upon a time......and then he became my therapist in the aftermath of my divorce......so there is great comfort in speaking with him, because he has been a part of it ALL.....knowing all the lands I traveled through to find myself here.....and he gets me fully.....and yesterday I had to untangle some jumbled yarn inside of my head.....as I type this it occurs to me that it is no wonder that I have found therapy so helpful in my life.....my mind is an active space, and is consistently looking to figure stuff out, and make sense of the world endlessly.....and words are my vehicle to do that..... both spoken and written help me to make it all seem less jumbled somehow.....so I caught him up on my life......from my spring dating debacle to now......and he sat in the A LOT with me....and acknowledged how much I am contending with.......and he can also be philosophical like me too, so we spun some of that.....but here is the thing....I felt so much better when I got it all out.....but I also realized how far I have come....he told me how clear headed I sounded, and that I am doing great amid all of what is happening....using my tools.....and that my anxiety and other barriers are all gone now......so I am free to just handle what I need to.....and that felt good to remember that.....like yeah......the things that once hindered me no longer have a home inside of me......and I did that......I did the work, and eradicated so many things that no longer serve me.....and that felt good amid the rest.....and to be reminded that no matter what comes to find me, the rest of my days.....I have the tools necessary to endure.....and to endure in a healthy and happy way no matter what......making peace my priority.....and I love that.....it brings me great comfort.....he is also always so complimentary of me in a very professional way, and in a way that supports me, and in a way that makes me feel seen and understood, and he knows the depths of most of my life, and I respect his opinion greatly, and have a lot of respect for him......he is wonderful at what he does, and has been doing it a very long time.....and having had him be my therapist through all of this has been one of the gifts of this journey.....not sure what I would have done without him......in the beginning I did therapy weekly.....and have done it all along as needed.....it really is the last year where it has become much more sporadic.......because the need had waned.....however I know when I am in need of it....and when I need to reach out, and am grateful that I can do that, and have that as one of my tools and resources.....so I am feeling better today.....the yarn ball nice and neatly wound in my head......ready to tackle what the day holds! Happy Wednesday:)
jperuso
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