Snow days are the best truly......cozying in with no place to go, nothing better......and my comfort level with keeping my property snow free has increased over the last two years......I was remembering that first year.....a few weeks after he left, and we had 30 inches of snow come down.....and the task of removing it all kept me sane......a huge challenge plopped right down in front of me......and I poured all my heartache and pain into that shovel and into snow blowing for the first time.......and it is in those moments when your confidence grows.....self reliance.....all of it......and each task helps me grow and rely more heavily on my own ability to take care of myself in the world.......as of last night my school was on a two hour delay, so I wasn't sure if I was facing some snow removal this morning....but they cancelled early this morning.......so a deep breath and I will tackle what fell after I blew it last night later:)......the kids played and went sledding while I did it last night.....they had so much fun:) maybe a snowman on the horizon today:).....and I will definitely shovel off my decks........and it is all these things that I feel like keep me healthy, strong, and give me the energy to do more and tackle all of it......I have truly learned the power of being super active in this life......and the blessings it offers.......to keep you able to keep on keeping on......and when I hear a storm is coming.....I don't feel overwhelmed or scared anymore........just ready to do what I have to do........and it is so comforting........I feel sorta like the snow is representative of my journey.......one of the key elements......offering up a challenge and a distraction in a timely fashion.......it is definitely one that cannot be ignored.....not one you can put your head down and not take a look at......you have to deal with it......it is how I feel with the emotions that arise in my healing process.......can't be shoved aside, or ignored......can't stay inside and pretend it isn't there.......and all of these new things I am experiencing and doing have helped me grow.......bit by bit......day by day.......and there are some things that come up that are not in my wheel house and I don't like it still when it happens.....it makes me shy away......and I am working on not avoiding them......and it normally works out and I prove to myself that it is a self limiting belief.......just a silly belief that isn't real........mind over matter indeed.........remember to believe in yourself too, our minds are our limits indeed;-) so for now I will sit and drink coffee in the Christmas light glow.....listen to music.......after sleeping in some:) and will gear up to clean myself up here with the snow one final time today, and cuddle in with my loves.........enjoy the day y'all:)
jperuso
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