It is indeed the toughest hood I have ever lived in;-) LOL I have thought about writing about it again for awhile.....seeking the words to articulate what it actually means, and is in my life......I think motherhood in general is wrought with some tough challenges......the challenge of initially having children and surrendering your entire life over to tiny beings that need you in every way......adjusting to a brand new way of life......and in those moments if you have a loving or supporting partner it softens it somehow......helps to know there is a team member on your side of the team, to support you in the day to day madness that can be raising children.....but when you are a single mother- or parent......I am giving a nod to single fathers too........it becomes that much more........hi def........extreme parenting if you will;-)......having all the madness that can be parenting, with no real soft place to land when the day ends......only the place you have created for yourself......the lion's share of all of it landing in your lap.......the responsibility, the chores, the minute details and nuances that happen in the day to day, all of it, and it can feel daunting.......most days I feel plenty strong, plenty able, plenty of whatever I need to be, to keep it all going and do my best to juggle it all......but sometimes the magnitude of it all weighs heavily.......and feels like so much of so much........true story......I have always admired single moms.......feeling a reverence and regard for them......feeling like they were superheroes for all they do, and endure in the name of raising other humans with such a fierce loyalty and sacrifice......and I wasn't wrong.......I get it now......it takes a level of sacrifice when you are a single parent that is different than when you are parenting in a marriage........and the sacrifice will forever be worth it.......I know that with all of my heart.....and I know if I keep taking good care of myself, and nurturing my mind and my body every day, I will be strong enough to endure in this space I now occupy......to stay the course and to do so with a glad heart......I want my kids to look back and feel they had a happy mom.....one that enjoyed being their mom......not one that was stressed out and overburdened.....and I think most days I do that......there are days where the weight of it all is heavy, and I know they can see that.......but I try and not live in that space......I want them to know their mom was a badass and fierce and that there wasn't a thing she wouldn't do to give them the life they deserve.......not one thing......nothing too uncomfortable for her to stay the course in the name of loving them, and raising them.....my prayer every day is to have the strength and wisdom to endure as their mom, and do what is best for them every single day......they are the greatest gifts I have been given in this life, and I take the blessing of them very seriously.......they are my heart, my reason, my inspiration, just all of it every single day of my life........Single mom or not I am wildly blessed indeed!
jperuso
댓글