Most days I feel totally capable of being a single mama.....feeling like something about it helped me take to it like water on a duck;-) Lol I guess due in part to the fact that I always sorta felt like one....my ex worked a lot.....or I ended up in a position a lot, to do stuff on my own with the kids.....and on my own in general........and so this.....doesn't really feel all that different if I am honest......we didn't really have one of those relationships in the later years where it felt like a "team" or that we were always together.....we adopted a sort of 'divide and conquer" vibe at one point, and it just sort of stuck.....he would go one way, I would go another, and somehow all of it would be taken care of......so now I have all the things to do on my own fully......accepting of that and feeling able to tackle what comes.....but I am writing this not only to lament some about the struggle, but to shine light on the struggle for so many others......Gabe tested positive for the 5th cold strain this year.....ugh :( Who knew there were so many, and I have no idea why he is picking them all up.....it has been the roughest year for him in a long time...........but I am already dipping into my extended sick time.....which we get 5 of those days a year beyond our allotted sick time.....and I have to pay the sub out of my daily rate and then get paid the balance, and I am dangerously close already to taking my time without pay at all....and it is only March.....and it is a challenge when you are on your own....and within our societal confines....that we are faced with that....when we have legitimate things that need our time and attention.....and couple that with being a single parent.....and well you get the idea......and my job is SO understanding....I don't get any pressure about missing, when I have to... beyond the financial pressure.....but I know some single moms that have that pressure too....their boss giving them a hard time for staying with sick kids.....what is somebody supposed to do??? Like in a real sense.....I forever ponder the issue....with no answer to that.....none.....it just is a part of it.....and the other piece I always am mindful of, as it relates to single motherhood....is the cost of living, and one income....even where I am in my life I have been challenged by keeping it all going.....and I am grateful for my salary after these 20 years.....beyond grateful......but how is one supposed to make minimum wage, and rent a place for $2,000 a month as a single mom???? Really?? We need to do better to make affordable housing for all the pockets of folks that need it.....it is so challenging out there....and I have been in the position myself to make tough choices to make it, and my situation is nowhere near some of the stories I have heard.....this is not a one income world.....no matter the income.....and I am forever hopeful it will right itself some, and prices will come down.....and things will right themselves...and people will find relief.....so for today Gabe is hanging with my parents, he is too congested for school even with a cold....and the rest of the week will be figured out day by day....and I am so grateful to have the support of my parents sometimes as it stands.....not sure what I would do if I didn't have any support.....it is a challenge for sure......and I accept what has to be.....not fighting it all, just trusting that at each juncture I will have what I need when I need and let the rest go! Happy Wednesday! Hang in there single mamas, I SEE YOU:):)
jperuso
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