So as I have said over and over I am not the same person......the old Jenn needed to be reborn.....she just did, especially for the new life she had been thrust into......I needed to become stronger and more self assured......I needed to believe and trust in myself more.....I needed to realize the things I do want.....and release what I don't.......so I had mentioned potentially having a brunch date for Sunday.......he and I had left it that he may have had to meet with a client on either Saturday or Sunday......and that it was up to his client and he would get back to me as soon as he knew.......fair enough right? So I went to the business of going about my weekend and doing my things.....my weekend was filled with amazing experiences........just one cool thing after another......and it was such a fun weekend.....so Saturday rolls around.......Saturday night rolls around.....and no word from my brunch date? Now here is where I had the choice......I could have texted him right? And said hey what is going on for tomorrow? Haven't heard from you?.....but that wasn't how we left it.....and I am not chasing any fella;-) ......instead I honored the space it was left in.....and wasn't attached to its happening if it wasn't meant to be.......so I went to bed Saturday night, making another plan for Sunday.....I decided to get up and have a slow morning.....lift some weights.....go for a run......go to church on my own.......then come home and mow my lawn and weed wack and do yard work:) And in that moment I was FREE.......Free to stand in my own life.....my own power.....not letting my joy or peace be affected by another human! However I did text him after church......I said to him that I would have appreciated his respecting my time......his saying if he was no longer wanting to meet up, and just reaching out and letting me know directly.....and that it is all good but letting me know would have been the right thing......and good luck with his journey.......it felt good to stand in my power and call out his inconsiderate action.....but I did it in a way that held no anger.....none of that because the truth is it is all good......I would never date somebody that doesn't communicate with me......doesn't honor my space in their lives......would never do such a thing like that again in my life......the new Jenn is having none of that.......and you know what he did in response to my text......he texted right back......immediately apologizing.....and saying something unexpected came up and he had to make two trips to a place in Jersey for business, and he should have messaged me as soon as he knew......and that he was sorry.......I thanked him for his apology and wished him well.......and went about my day:) No disappointment......no diminishing of my confidence.....no obsessing......no nothing.......standing firm in who I am....what I bring to the party;-) .....and knowing that I won't be offering that value to just anybody;-) And off I go.......back to the drawing board! You just gotta love this dating thing! But here is the thing......this situation tested my willingness to be the new me......how firm I am in who I am and my understanding of that......and how does she behave in the world? I am kinda proud of this chick.....she knows what she wants and she is not settling for anything less! :)
jperuso
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