I haven't always been good and continue to struggle at being present fully always....but I work at it, and have gotten better.....and it is my goal to get better at it....and the last few weeks have been rough.....there have been things that have happened that I have wanted to write about more fully, but don't feel able to yet......or maybe won't.....I tend to let my blog lead the way.......but I am away for a couple days....with my mom and dad, and my brother and his wife.....my brother and his wife bought us tickets for Christmas to the Sight and Sound theater near Lancaster, and we will be seeing a play today:)The kids are excited.....but Lancaster is so beautiful, and the beauty of it, and nature helped me find the presence that had been lost in the last few weeks, and the emotional overload I have endured in lots of directions.......yesterday found us getting to visit with a cousin of my dad's that I haven't seen in a long time.....she owns horses and does classes with kids, and is just such an alive human.....she lost her only child years ago, and that loss changed her deeply, almost destroyed her....... and the work she found with the horses and helping others saved her......as is often the case right....life's tragedy leading us to purpose and light, helping to extinguish the darkness that is found along the way.....light and dark cannot live in the same space....so looking for the light is the way to combat it for sure.....and I guess that is what is coming to me this morning..... the power of being present in the beauty of the last 24 hours, and helping it reset my flow......I have been working on that the last few days now that all my major house stuff was completed....working on the enjoying of it.....and also realizing how much the kids and I need to get back to our regular hiking schedule.....we have drifted some amid the end of year craziness.....and now that that has passed we need to be more intentional, as Mads is done now with school and summer is here:) Nature is the fastest and easiest way for me to regain my balance and presence......to look at a beautiful place or view and it calms all the rest......I am sorting through the lessons that are arriving amid the turmoil I have experienced the last few weeks......and am seeking to see where the events of the last few weeks lead......and I have some guesses.....but it all remains to be seen......doors close and then windows open.......I believe that fully......and sometimes tenfold......a door closes and 10 windows open, or a bigger door.....so through meditation and nature is where grounding for me happens......and music.....and my kids.....we played Uno last night and had so much fun, and watching Gabe play, and really know how to play and attend to it was wonderful......he did so great, and it touched my heart.....and it is hard to remain present amid technological distractions.....and life pulling at us.....but it is one of my summer goals....to just be....breathe....be present......unplug more......and we are in Amish country at the moment and at the Air BnB, and there are a bunch of coffee mugs with Bible verses.....and I am drinking out of one that says "Faith is Confidence" Hebrews 11:1.....also my Universal lucky numbers.....those 11s:) So there is my sign in every way that all will work out as it always does, and that my journey is unfolding exactly as it is meant to.....every minute, and all I need to do is remain confident in my faith....and well......I am indeed:) Faith is Confidence and that simple yet powerful notion has changed my life......Enjoy your Friday:)
jperuso
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