Recap!

Last night was great! I have never seen Bethel so packed......never......I have mentioned before that crowds are not my favorite, all that energy lol, I never seek them out.......and concerts are the exception for me, but it definitely got intense for sure:) There wasn't one piece of grass left on that lawn! We ended up scooting a little early to alleviate being in the midst of it all at the end of the night! The kids were tired and fell asleep when we hit the car! But it was such a gorgeous night for a show.....it got cooler as the sun went down and he puts on a great show........Again his musicianship just shining....and it was kind of cool to experience this concert so close to the Robert Plant one, to see the differences and appreciate the contrast between the two....Chris Stapleton was an experience in a different way......a culture of people heading out for it......it was a vibe, different than the one the other night.....I also found some of my friends there, and they sought us out and came and sat with us which was so fun and appreciated! Mads and Gabe loved it! Gabe was singing and dancing, Mads danced, and loved a beach ball that was getting bounced around, she was all about it and getting all up in it:) She also got her hair braided by a stranger who was a hairdresser...... a little hippie heart she has for sure:) I had been a little apprehensive some earlier in the night if I am being honest......their dad and his girlfriend were there too with friends.....and because things are still challenging, I wasn't sure how running into them would be for the kids......if they would feel torn and strange......I wish the ease was such that we could have met up, and the kids could have said hi and then go on with it....it is always tricky in situations like that, when both of us are there.....like baseball games for Gabe or functions of those kind.....it is always a separate kind of vibe, that is hard to explain.....I know Madeline feels torn in those moments, not knowing where to be, and where to lay her allegiance.......and I so wish it wasn't like that.......she was on the lookout for her dad most of the night.....and some complications lie there that I was grateful we didn't run into him, but for her I know she really wanted to.....and it always hurts my heart for her......I cannot imagine how she feels.....like homesickness.....she is forever homesick for him......just looking for him in all the places she can.....the Wednesday visits added to his weekends, have helped her....I have seen a big improvement in her emotional health, but it never goes away......and I am sure he didn't ask to meet up with them last night to honor my space too, which I also get......but I guess because we never talk about any of it, we just proceed on this guessing game of what the other would want as situations arise......and communication would be so good for all of it....... it ended up being fine.....there was a point where she was looking in the crowd for him, really wanting to find him.....but it settled as the night went on and as I assured her.....but yeah....sigh.....it is one of the sticky parts of this new life, that just is.....one I accept.....and one we navigate case by case.......situation by situation.......the foreign nature of all of it....and the stranger vibe between he and I, It will never get less strange and shocking to me.....the stranger I used to know.....but it lessens as time goes on....fading into the background.......a quiet hum......that maybe will fall more silent.............. someday.........but for sure the night was a success......and I focused on that......mindset is where my power lies......I was grateful to give Mads her first concert experience and it was a memorable one for sure! Today they have their last day of Vacation Bible Camp, and I will spend the day packing for vacation!!!!!!!! We are blessed humans despite our challenges indeed! Every single day......:) Happy Friday y'all:)