Most of us know what projection is........"an estimate or forecast of a future situation or trend based on a study of present ones." We also know what it means in psychology when somebody lays something on you, that belongs to them.......we also know the saying that if we knew how much of what people say to us is their own stuff we wouldn't take it personally......so how do these all connect.......I am really mindful of all of them now as I move along......especially the initial forecast or future situation thing......we can make educated guesses about stuff right? But to spend too much time trying to predict is futile.....but hard to not do.......tomorrow we have a meeting at the lawyer's office to hash out and perhaps finalize our divorce......heavy right? And it is tempting to spin into projection.....in all the ways.....crafting scenarios......attaching feelings.......laying a whole bunch of stuff on top of it......but the truth is........I have no idea how it will go........I really don't.........I really cannot even guess........so spending time doing that isn't time well spent.......so I haven't attached a ton of those tethers to it......I am letting it be.......I am praying about it.......I am sending it positive vibes......I am attaching faith and hope to it.......but I am not projecting my way through it........being mindful of it has also helped me not take as much as I can personally......from everybody.......and trying not to lay my own stuff on others when I can catch myself.....not easy either......normally if somebody lays something super heavy and unfair at your feet......it is their own stuff and normally when we act in a way that we are like...."yeah maybe shouldn't have done that or said that" we are doing that too......I try whenever I am able to stop it before it happens.....I am not always able but lots of time I can......ask myself about the strong feelings that come up, and try not to have them bleed on others........it is important to do that I think when we can.......to try and check ourselves......find out where our stuff is coming from......and what is valid and what is not........being mindful of what we are spreading around us......realizing that it matters......the things we do.......this has come up a lot lately.....yesterday there was a situation that happened that reminded me of the importance of all of it.......and I suppose self control goes hand in hand......have been telling my class this year over and over that self control is a superpower........and that if you lack it as an adult or a child it causes you trouble in your life........I don't know if they really get it......but I hope somewhere in their hearts the message gets in......and they will think of it sometimes.......we should try when we can to have self control and not lay our stuff on other people.......and not pretend we know how something is going to be till we arrive there.......it is a deep habit in me to wander ahead in my mind and see things laid out and I have been right many times.....;-) BUT it doesn't mean it is a good practice........so I am reigning in my projections about tomorrow......lying them down.......and just being in the now......and will let the experience unfold as it will......and trust that it will ultimately work out for the greater good.......
jperuso
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