Boundaries are tough to uphold when they involve the people we are intricately involved with......I have needed to practice using them often in my new life.....deciding what I allow in my new life and what I don't......and the truth is I have slipped up, old habits die hard.....but I have learned there is always something a person does that shows us once and for all that they are not meant to be in our lives any longer......every single time......and my boundaries are strong.....much stronger than they have ever been......I have them with my ex......he no longer has any real power in my life.....over my emotional state or otherwise.....as long as he is doing right by his visits with the kids that is where my involvement with him ends......he has created that sort of dynamic, and I have created the boundaries needed to live in that space......he cannot touch me emotionally the way he once did.......my peace and joy is not up for grabs by anything he ever does......his power in my life gone.......I recently learned the same about another friend......them not being who I thought they were in terms of their friendship and loyalty to me, and I now know where the boundary belongs.......and it gets easier each time....when I see the truth of somebody.......they show their colors and I adjust accordingly.......it has happened so many times in the last two years.....finally putting up the boundaries that really should have been there all along.......I will no longer allow anybody in my life that doesn't have my best interest at heart.....anyone that isn't showing me loyalty, love, and truth......anyone that betrays me.......once I know that...... they are moved to a different place in my life if I still have to contend with them in day to day life.....like my ex.....or a co worker etc.....but otherwise they are gone.......I am clear on that......what I give to the people in my life, I expect to get to at least some degree.....and anything that comes to rob my peace, has to go......no question.......so as I weed the people out in my life, the ones that belong there and the ones that don't......it is all OK with me......because as I have lost some folks in the last 2.5 years, I have gained so many others......ones that are new friends but such fierce ones.....and I will believe the best about them.....as I always do for the people in my life....until they show me otherwise........it is always hard when somebody shares who they are.....like who they really are.......when you believed otherwise.....but it is valuable information to proceed with.....I would always rather know that somebody is dishonest and not who I thought they were, than believe otherwise......so I will keep practicing boundaries in my life.....who stays and who goes.....who pours like I do and who doesn't......who is meant for me and who isn't......and it feels good to finally be putting up boundaries in my life.....something I struggled with for many years.....we can always learn new things.....always, even us older dogs;-) I hope you enjoy today! Today is my last full day of work! Sing n' Synch was a success yesterday! The kids were saying it was the best day of their life.....so that is something:) And Bushkill felt like it used to and that felt good! Enjoy the day:)
jperuso
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