One day at a time.......

There is such wisdom in this notion......so simple but so profound.......yet not easy to do.......I have attempted many times in my life to "stay in the day," not travel too far down the road in my mind, not try to "figure it all out," and have failed many many times in attempting to do those things......however through this I am getting MUCH better at this.....partly because I just don't have the energy or emotional strength to travel more than the day I am in most days.....and it is so much better, totally OK...... To face what is there, staring me in the face, instead of what is imagined, what is likely not real........to think of the day's tasks that must be accomplished and feel that that is enough, no need to worry about what tomorrow holds, to free myself from the burden of "figuring it all out" and just letting the day be.......I find the lessons in this process come fast and furious, they encompass nearly every part of life and in some ways I feel like this is teaching me those lessons once and for all.....for the most part, the lessons I have been trying so desperately to learn all my life are all coming to find me now, Saying do you get it now? This is what we meant? This is why this is so important? And it feels like in a short amount of time all these lessons of life have come into sharp focus......but the "one day at a time" one being one of my favorites.....because when I try to imagine divorced life down the road, or when I try and imagine dating someday, or wondering whether I will be alone forever, or what our custody mediation will look like, or will we be able to figure out the house and all the rest, or what Covid will look like in school next year, for me, for my kids, Madeline will be starting kindergarten, Gabe will be starting high school, and on and on, you get the idea;-) .......the most peaceful thing I can do is just think about the day......stop myself dead in my tracks.....not allow those future thoughts to go any further than the early stages......cut them off immediately......focus on this day I am in, the one that is in front of me..... and the cool part is in this day I can manage ALL the things I need to, can check all the boxes, can find joy, find peace, find love, find all I need and more.......and as I continue to bring my focus back to the day I am finding much more peace, happiness, and joy.......living in the future in your mind breeds anxiety and discontent for sure......living in the day takes care of that.......I have been better and worse at "living in the day" during my life......depending on what mountain I was climbing at the time......what space I was living in, how comfortable I felt or didn't........but I feel in the last few weeks I have really figured out how to stay in the day more often than not......finding comfort in my skin, peace in my soul, and accepting that the day I am in is the best one, and trusting in what tomorrow will bring......that I will be lead to all I need to be......make the right decisions.....do whatever is necessary with ease.......and that my future will be bright.....I am counting on all of that and more......being grateful for what is in today and what is for me in all of my tomorrows.......