Anybody that has followed me on social media knows what a treasure my family is to me.....it is the thing that lights me up, the thing that brings me peace, the thing that makes me feel whole.....so the irony of my losing it in this lifetime in a traditional sense is quite profound.....am certain there is a lesson that lies within that I am supposed to hold onto, to learn from, to regain that wholeness from........but for now it is an enormous loss.......all those Facebook moments I shared all these years were true, they were authentic, they were truly my treasures....I would stand there being our family photographer and revel in the moment.....be present in the picture of my husband and my precious children........loving their special shared moments, our shared special moments as a family, and gratitude would wash over me, true waves of gratitude........each and every time.......I enjoyed all those moments so fully......and now as I sit here in the wreckage of that life.....I am still SO GRATEFUL that I had the foresight to BE GRATEFUL....to stop and take those moments in, breathe them into my soul, hold them in so fully, so deeply, that I will always be able to carry them with me for the rest of my life......that is a true gift.....and in the appreciation of all that was......it brings me some peace......while it was happening I never believed it wouldn't be forever.....that those moments would not keep coming, that our sweet family would not carry on.........but yet...........so it came to me that truly nothing lasts forever, even the really beautiful stuff....the stuff that makes your soul shine.....even those things.......so when you are standing in those moments it is so important, so vital, so essential to soak them in.....let them become the essence of who you are.......and appreciate them in all their glory while you got them.......because in a split second they can be taken from you.....in strange and unexpected ways.......we all know this, we've seen life change in a split second......yet in pockets of our lives we forget, go on autopilot, forget to be present........I am sure I had some autopilot family days but I had MANY days of pure bliss in the reveling of my family of four.........and even though it makes the pain cut deeper, it is a source of pride and peace for my soul.........knowing I appreciated all that was here while it was here.........holding it, savoring it, treasuring it..............and if the journey was only about my journey that may have been enough.....but those precious moments were tied to another person's journey....and that is where the unexpected can sometimes occur.....so as I continue on my journey I will carry all those beautiful things in my heart, I will revisit them when necessary and admire their beauty, and hold them in the sacred part of me.........forever and ever.........
jperuso
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