In the beginning of this I found myself thinking I could impart reason, logic, and truth to all of this in the hopes of making this better.......more palatable somehow......I have learned that that approach is most definitely a futile one and one that did not bring me any peace at all. It was like banging my head up against a concrete wall. A waste of time and precious energy in every single way......If I tried to approach a situation that arose, express myself, and all the things it ended in my feeling more frustrated.......so I have learned to practice the pause......to take in a situation and breathe......clear my head before any action comes from me, and in lots of cases NO ACTION......... and you know what? The results have been amazing.......as humans we think we need to spar, get involved in a battle to save our position in this world.....to wield our power and guess what it just isn't so.....there is WAY more power in silence......in calm........in peace..........all those things serve us in ways that are far superior than any clever comeback ever could........and the silence requires strength, it truly does.....I would be lying if I said it is easy......I still get caught up sometimes......but any time I choose not reacting over attempting to be right, I win........when I accept that we are both traveling our own journey, and what things he chooses are not my business anymore, specifically as it relates to his relationship with our children.........I find peace in that space......Any time my attention drifts outward, I gently nudge it back and focus inward........and somehow in this simple practice of remaining mindful and not reactionary, I have brought a level of peace to an enormously tumultuous situation......I made the switch about six weeks ago and it has been life changing.......I was fighting a losing battle before.......trying to fix, trying to help, trying to make this all make sense, and bring reason on board.......there is no point in any of that.......at this point anyway.....the best approach is to worry about myself and my journey and my children....that is all..........and when a shot is fired in my direction that threatens my peace I need to stand strong against it, and NOT REACT........just let it bounce off and fall to the ground........where it loses all its power........things that have your attention have enormous power .....when you shift your attention it is amazing to just watch those things deflate in front of your eyes........just wither and fall.........the lessons in this situation have been life changing truly......ones that are so powerful and come with such gifts.......I am committed to remaining mindful in it all.....pausing......breathing..........calming myself.........and just NOT reacting...........each and every day..............
jperuso
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