My new life is so different much of the time......I have been celebrated in my new life, misunderstood in my new life, and taken heat to for changing.......but there was no way I could exist as the same Jenn in my new life, she needed to evolve and change to survive it all and to enjoy the new one......I guess what made me think of it, was going out last night......I think when you are in a situation like mine.......where you share custody on some weekends.....this new space steps forward, a space where you live as a true single person....not a single mom.........for a couple a days every other weekend.....and it has been really interesting........in fact it often makes me think that really every mom deserves that respite and rest from the day to day.......I spent years and years not taking much respite in the in between.....not making too many plans with friends or anybody other than my kids and family......able to sprinkle in a few things here and there......but struggling to find any time to catch my breath......and I don't have regrets, and likely would not have done it differently, even if I could go back......but now as I have gotten these forced breaks.....I am very aware of the value in them, and the gift they can be in my life.....going out with the girls was fun last night, we danced and laughed! But I was also struck by the sea of people and the lack of connection, except for the girls I was with and that makes me feel some kinda way.....but these are the things I need to be doing some more in my new life.....getting out there a little bit.....I try and maximize the weekends on my own.....filling them with stuff that makes me happy, things that recharge my batteries for all the life that gets thrown in the in between.....and that respite, it adds up......It helps that I know they are having fun with their dad and his girlfriend and being taken care of and getting to do fun stuff.......I never thought I would or could feel the way I feel about it all....and it goes to show how powerful the stories we tell ourselves are and how important it is to craft another story......to reframe what we have been given, and look for the light, and the ways we can help ourselves accept and embrace what finds us......so the new Jenn had fun doing something outside of her comfort zone last night, making new friends, and living in her new story, being grateful every single day! :)
jperuso
Commentaires