When my wedding anniversary passed this last spring I decided to surrender the date back to the calendar......no longer acknowledge it as anything.......it was time.......and now I have today's date.....today was the day my ex husband left me for another woman and set me free to live this life.......and it could be a horrid day, one that makes me flinch as it comes round......but I am choosing something different.............the grief may remain to some degree due to the trauma I endured, and the betrayal etc......and the more I heal the more it fades, but this time of year may have some air of remembrance......but today indeed marks a significant day in my life........having your spouse leave you, especially for another person........is humbling beyond words.......it is mind numbing in the moment......and it is a profound game changer.......life shifter.....all of it.......and in the aftermath of it happening the devastation that occurs and ensues is kinda hard to articulate......like your life becomes similar to the pictures we have seen on CNN, of islands after a tropical storm runs over them.........just each part of your life dismantled......wreckage for miles.......but I will celebrate this day forever........because while it was one of the most painful days in all my life.........in every way......it was the day I was LIBERATED.......I truly believe that......I was living in that old life in chains.......imprisoned..........I was chained to his affair......to all the lies.....to all the turmoil that was brought to the doorstep of our marriage, and our lives........on top of our other challenges......and I somehow felt I needed to run faster and jump higher to fix it all.....which was impossible and never going to happen.........like running in place........and I was very much in a prison of my own creating, and of his creation..... and one our marriage had created around me at that point.........and that night he set me free......not realizing he was doing that......not sure he thought much about me at all......his intention that night was to go live his best life......or try......but by his pulling of the trigger and walking out our door........he pulled my parachute cord......and despite free falling for a bit........I landed on my feet....:) finding endless gifts and goodness in the past 2 years.......just so much light and love.........and PEACE.........so yeah today is my anniversary.......Liberation Day:) And as I sit here this morning I am so so very grateful:)
jperuso
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