None of this story that I am sharing would make any sense if I did not include an entire blog entry about my mom and dad:).....their support of myself and the kids through this has been one of the greatest gifts I have ever received......I have so much reluctance at times to look at their pain related to all of this, because it makes me feel so sorry for them.....hurt for them so deeply.....as a mom, watching my kids suffer in this was one of the most painful things I have ever endured.....and I know for them it must have been the same.....to see us all shattered in the beginning, and come each and every day to face it all and help us recover.....they too loved Nick.......they believed in him.......they treated him as their own.....and then they were betrayed by him too......and I am sure that it is so difficult for them...... to find a place to put it too......since the journey now is really my own.....and they cannot do the work for me.....help me heal or any of it......... they just have had to give me the space and understanding to chart my own path......being supportive of what that looks like each and every day.......when you are middle aged......you don't really want to rely on your parents so heavily.....the way I have had to.......you just don't.....but for school and work schedules to be pulled off, I must, and to learn how to run my entire household....including outside I must.....so instead of getting caught up in the I wish I didn't have to.....I am choosing to just be so grateful that I have them.....and that they have been such a beautiful part of this story from the beginning.....and focus on how blessed I am to have them in my day to day life, truly......another part that is so beautiful to behold is that my kids are crazy about them......Mimi and Pop are some of their favorite people to hang with......another gift to them.....I always loved my grandparents deeply and it was always such a special part of my life and I am so glad they get to experience that too.....this experience has made their bond with them even stronger.......I know the pain they have endured through this must be deep too....watching it all unfold......standing in some of the parts with us......and I really wish they hadn't had to endure any of it.....I really do.....I have tried to shield them from some of it......because as a mom I know........but unfortunately sometimes that is not possible......I just really want to thank them from the bottom of my heart.....and tell them I have always admired their strength and courage.......and have learned to be strong in trials by watching them.......knowing I have made them proud in all of this has been so special to me as well, as they have seen the behind the scenes, nitty gritty, and know all it required of me to pick myself back up.......Not sure you can find more supportive parents when the going gets tough......and I am blessed indeed......thank you thank you mom and dad.......we love you both so much and are so grateful for the gifts you bring to our lives:)
jperuso
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