So the fall I took yesterday was absurd.....like truly......I had stuck the water in the front underneath, which was foolish.......my daughter told me as much lol:) But I was in a rush and had done it successfully before so......off we went.......and pushing the cart out it fell off, unbeknownst to me, and I began to trip in slow motion.....and it was like my brain could not process why I would be tripping so it didn't react??? Which was weird.....and I had so much momentum from walking quickly and the heaviness of the cart that I went down.....on my knees.....but my right knee took most of the fall......and in the moment it hurt.....like a lot....like breath out of you hurt.......enough for me to stand up and need a minute to collect myself......my kids being worried......but then after I got myself together it was funny.....like really funny:).....and we laughed and laughed.....I got home, put the groceries away, not thinking too much of it....and got it cleaned up and bandaged.....and then finished putting my deck together.....but once I sat down later......it got really sore........I iced it........it isn't swollen.....and I am pretty sure there is no other damage except just the impact and the scrape.....like I didn't twist my knee....and my kneecap doesn't feel damaged.....but it is like when I turned my ankle awhile back.....or when I had Covid.......I am feeling panicky a little, and frustrated this morning.....about my exercise routine and making it work around this for now......and today is my arm day so it works:) I will figure out a way and take it easy.....but it was the first thought when I fell.....it has become such an important outlet for me, hard to convey really in words.....and the thought of anything jeopardizing it freaks me out a little bit....OK more than a little;-) .......and I know sometimes things like this happen to us to challenge us and slow us down......but I am not a fan of that ;-) and I pushed through with my ankle and it healed well.....once in a blue moon I feel a twinge.....but it is good....and I trust this will be the same.....I ordered a knee brace stabilizer thing from Amazon.....I used one for my ankle for awhile when I exercised and it helped a lot.....so I am hopeful this will be the same......so I am exploring my feelings surrounding altering my workout and possibly not being able to do leg day for a few days......and working with the feelings surrounding it.....my body and my mind has come to need the release that comes from working out. It just does.....and there are worse things to need for sure;-) but I need to be balanced in it too....I know that......it still feels like a life raft in stormy seas for me.....like the one place I can go that is mine.....and always makes me feel good.....in all the best ways.....so I am summoning my patience this morning......icing my knee.......and going to follow my body's lead this week.....and try to not to fight against it......modifying my workout this week to accommodate my knee.......and marveling at the humility that comes with such a simple act and how quickly stuff just happens......I had fallen last spring and got a gnarly gash on my elbow, was wearing my wedges for the first time, and carrying too much and fell on a nasty railroad tie in my backyard......and it took awhile to heal.....but again.....happened so quickly.....I don't believe in accidents, so me being grounded some this week is a message.....one I am willing to hear and explore.......I am hopeful it will heal quickly and I will be back at it in full force soon........but for this morning I will be taking it easy;-)
jperuso
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