It has been awhile since I checked in on her.....she has adjusted to her new normal pretty well......however I do see the grief come for her in waves at times and the wishing that her dad lived here with us......a wish that I don't share but one I always hold space for her in......validating her experience and feelings all the way.....Gilly, who has so many nicknames, this being one;-) has had a rough friend week......she begged me yesterday to not make her go to school.....and I had to reach out to school about some of what was going on....girl stuff......but I had to make her go, and not rescue her in it.....and it was really hard....it was hard to stay in that space as her mom and encourage her, and love her, and help her navigate it all....but not give her an out.....explaining to her that the challenge will still be there Monday......no way to avoid it......and equip her with the tools necessary to face it all......and she ended up having a great day and working through it.....but it was so hard in the morning.....she had called me from the lady's house that drops her off at school, crying and begging me to turn around......having a stomach ache:( but I was glad I followed my instincts and allowed her the space to grow and cope through some of that......and we talked about it all last night too and she understood why she needed to go and face it all and not delay it till Monday.......so I am hopeful for a good weekend, and a reset for her next week and beyond......she is so sensitive and sweet and sometimes people pleasing.....and sometimes that can be taken advantage of by others......don't I know.......I am working on helping her stand up for herself and speak her truth......a skill I just got much better at myself;-) If she can learn it at 6, the sky will be the limit:) So the challenge of it all, allowed for some important life conversations.....she is so wise and mature......and able to have so many of those conversations......and it just is truly a joy to be her mother.....she is so full of life, and love, and warms my heart at every turn.......I want to have her find and believe in the power that lives in her.....learning to rely on her instincts, and ability in this life, alongside of her faith......and know that there is nothing she cannot accomplish if she puts her mind to it......we have a special woman power song we listen to sometimes on my way to drop her off and sing it......reminding her of who she is......and watching her grow and find her way is my privilege each and every day.....and one I never take for granted.........I want her to know always, and feel from me always, that I am her biggest fan, and that my belief in her has no bounds.......and that she can talk to me and I am always here for her no matter what....I am hoping next week is better for my Gilly girl:) Happy Saturday!
jperuso
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