Today is the first real holiday in my new life......last year we had a quiet and sorta sweet holiday......under the weight of Covid we had celebrated the four of us.....and due to the events that unfolded over Christmas it marked our last holiday together......I have spent nearly 20 Thanksgivings eating turkey with him.......celebrating all I was so thankful for and today I won't.......he was welcomed around our family table.......stepped into my childhood traditions effortlessly......enjoying it with us......carving the turkey too......but today he won't......and today I will be celebrating in a different way......taking my kids to my parent's house........my brother and his wife joining us......and as I think of it all I am reminded above all else that I have much to be grateful and thankful for today.......the list is LONG and BLESSED........I am most grateful for the strength and persistence that allowed me to survive those early days, the ones I wasn't sure I could endure......days that dragged on in emotional pain and suffering that I just wanted to stop.......and then they did:) I am so so grateful for that.......I am grateful for my new life and all the gifts it has come bearing......like winning a game show and having them bring all the gifts up to the contestant and lying them at their feet......it feels amazing to have found such joy and peace.......I am BEYOND grateful my kids are OK.....that a large part of their hearts have healed too.......even though they too will carry the scar all of their days......but I am so thankful for where they are.......I am grateful we are healthy and strong and able to explore the world on our own two feet! What a gift:) I am grateful we have everything we need, and I have the means to provide that to them.......I am grateful for my family and friends all of whom have helped me more than they will ever know........I am so grateful to spend time with my family today and celebrate together this year.......YIPPEEE! I am already grateful for all that lies ahead, I can feel it:) and it is AMAZING!!! I am grateful for new beginnings........and for starting Life Coach school on December 8th....eeeekkkkkk!!!! I am so so ready for that adventure:) I am grateful for my intuition and instincts, and my willingness to stand in the hard stuff so that I can move to the beautiful stuff.......not sure where that comes from, but I am sure grateful it exists in the fabric of my soul......no way around just through......and I have put one foot in front of the other every day to that end......I am grateful for my profession, despite its challenges at the moment, for the joys I find there where I can, for the important work I do every day, even though some days don't feel that way;-) and for the friends that are like family that work there too! It also provides me a living I can live on for myself and my kids......all blessings:) I am even grateful to him.....for realizing he couldn't be the man I needed and wouldn't be able to be, and for setting me FREE! I needed him to set me free, no question about it..... I have always been a grateful human.....always.....but these days I breathe it in like oxygen.......I stand in my grateful spots and just pinch myself close my eyes, smile and breathe it in....... and think I am so so grateful and happy that this is the life I have found on the other side! Lots to celebrate today and I am not looking back:)
jperuso
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