I have always had mad respect for single moms......I think the moment I became one I understood what being the only parent in a home would mean......and I have always felt they deserved the upmost respect for all they do, for all the breaks they don't get, for shouldering the parenting job fully square on their shoulders......each and every single day........and now I am one.......never in my wildest dreams did I imagine I would be. Yesterday went well the kids enjoyed their visit with their dad. I was so happy and grateful! Madeline called me twice, and texted with me. And in that moment of her needing me, missing me, wishing I was there with her, and saying such sweet things to me, it touched my heart and made me realize even more than I normally do......the importance of being your children's safe place.......their ride or die.......their soft place to land.....and my kids know I am all those things and more for them.......showing up for them each and every day, even on the hard ones........ I feel so fortunate that they are such great kids and behave well most of the time, making it easier on me....... but ultimately all of the hard things fall all on me......and will now forever.........motherhood is perhaps arguably the most noble endeavor there is......to do it right it requires a level of selflessness that many people don't touch in their lives......a level of sacrifice that many people are not capable of.....a level of vulnerability that is so raw and real......a level of living that is important and wonderful in all the ways.....to be a mom is to know the deepest parts of love, life, sadness, fear, struggle and triumph........and some days all of them.......I never wanted to be a single mom.....never wanted to parent our children alone......never wanted to ramble around this house as the only grown up.......never wanted any of this......but the truth is when all of this happened in January my children SAVED ME......they saved me from crawling into my bed and not getting out......they saved me from giving into the pain and letting it take me over......they saved me from losing all hope for my future......their love and need drove me to dig into the deepest parts of me and find my grit and strength to pull myself up and out of the pain and start working on healing it.......and taking care of them......they did all of that FOR ME.......our love is most certainly a two way street.....they give me as much as I give to them in every single way......their existence makes me want to do better......be better.....show up and be present in all of it for them.....to help them navigate our new life......so today another milestone passes me by......Mother's Day as a party of one.......and I am humbled and proud to join the mass of single mamas out there doing their thing.....often unnoticed......many times not acknowledged....I salute you all and wish you the Happiest of Mother's Days, you deserve it and so much more:)
jperuso
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