Mindfulness has been a battle I have been battling for a long time. Staying present, staying in a moment, staying in the right now. My mind likes to do flips and cartwheels constantly and touch different parts of life.......think up above it, think globally. I can see the past, present, future and see them sometimes all at once. Hovering over my life and examining all the pieces and analyzing it all at any given point. Mindfulness is such an important practice, such a practice in self discipline, in honoring the moment we are living in and soaking it into our soul at any given point. There have been times I have been better at it. The first years of Madeline's life I stayed present a lot. Just soaking up the delicious gift of being a mom at 40 and knowing it was my last ride through infancy, through toddlerhood, through all of it. Knowing that caused me to bring myself back to the moment if I drifted too far. To be present with her and in my life often at that time........ However this situation has helped me get better at mindfulness, most of the time.......because I am finding as I travel this road if I try and look too far back it doesn't bring any value to the experience......it only leaves me more puzzled, more heartbroken, more of all of it. I am not implying we should never revisit parts of our lives and take a peek in at things that are worth remembering.......things that make up the fabric of our lives......but I guess I mean staying there too long is maybe not what we should be doing much of at all......because we don't live there anymore.......that is no longer the life we are living.......in contrast living in the future is also a dangerous habit.......the wondering, the worrying, the obsessing, the trying to see it all before it sees us.......so I am getting really good at not doing that either.....when thoughts come to try and lure me into the future I tell them to sit down because I can do all things in the today, not in all the tomorrows ahead.......at least not yet;-)........I don't give them my attention, do not create an audience for them.......because here is what is real......I have ALWAYS had EVERYTHING I have ever needed or wanted to travel my journey......even in my darkest moments the most amazing gifts and resources have stepped into my path to help in any way I have ever needed......so in the peace of knowing that my path is lighted and I am traveling in the right direction I do not have to fret too much about any of it.......just trust my instincts in the day to day......so yesterday I was provided a lovely Mother's Day by way of my brother, his wife, and my parents, and I just stayed in it......never drifting too far away from the conversation, the laughter, the love and that really is the best we can hope to do......to enjoy our present moments.......the present that is those moments......and steer clear of the drifting backward or forward.......I have spoken of it before in my blog, the living in the now and the today and I am getting better at it.......getting more able to do just that.......and as I learn to travel in the moment I am keenly aware of all the gifts that reside there......the awareness of the love and laughter that surrounds us at any given moment, the value of holding onto that........ and just not worrying too much about the rest.......
jperuso
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