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jperuso

Messy..........

Messy means untidy or dirty, or a situation that is confusing and hard to deal with.....and don't we all have parts of our lives that feel messy......I was having a conversation with a friend and was reminded of this......we want friendships that allow us to be messy and share our mess with one another......and sometimes it isn't comfortable putting our mess out there or letting people see it right?? I know for me that prior to my ex leaving I wanted to keep some of the mess under wraps.....and hidden away.....and when he left, it was like the closet door opened, and all the stuff I had attempted to hide away in there came spilling out into the room......and there it was......this enormous mess.....the biggest one I could think of.....just sitting in a heap....for all the world to see.....and I suppose that was where my decision to start this blog and put it out there began.....to own my mess.......to give it a voice......to be vulnerable.......to put my tale out there....one that belongs to so many others too.....and there was liberation in allowing the mess to just be there.....and marvel at it....and surrender to it......and life is messy......lots of parts.....I do seek to have my life in order where I can.....but there are definitely messy parts of my life.....both literally and figuratively.......and I suppose that when we let our mess show to the people we love and care for......our kindred spirit people.......we make it safe for them to too.....one of my women's series ladies was very upset in the beginning of the series about how shameful and ugly the story was of the end of her marriage.....and the thoughts of those in our community etc.....and I so get that......I struggled myself with the same thing.....like how could something I worked so hard for.....something that mattered so deeply to me.....something that contained so much of my identity and blood sweat and tears......end like that!!!! Kinda mind boggling but.....my point is that I think her coming to the series.....and seeing the rest of our messes......and understanding it is everywhere.....and that sometimes owning the mess is what frees us......helped her reach some level of acceptance in her mess......and I think we should all let our human show, so others can feel human too......flawed and fabulous.....sometimes all at once....so the conversation I had was a reminder to me to do that....I have tried to blog honestly about all of it.....some really vulnerable and difficult things.....and the messages I continue to get, sharing how much my blog helps some people struggling with the same....giving it a voice, is validation for allowing my mess to show too.......show people your messy y'all, so they feel safe to do the same! Happy Friday:)

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